Dear Die-ary...

Guess who got their Zim backpack today!! No, go on, guess. ...No, it wasn't Mr Jones who lives 2 doors away... No, it wasn't little Timmy who likes to eat dog fur for his breakfast... GAH, I DID!!! I got the Zim bag!! And, I have to say... It's pretty amazing. It was about 1/3 bigger than what I thought it would be, for a start. No, that's not bad, that's good. It has a lovely jubbly picture of Zim on the front and... There's a picture, use your eyeballs!! ^ And, another thing, it has more pockets than a chav's trousers. I'm not even sure if my grammar is correct there. It's pretty goddamned amazing.

I was told to revise MOREEEEEEEEEE today. I don't see the point in revising for something that won't actually change/influence my grades. It's just a sort of 'check up' to show that you are or are not learning. I don't see the point in revising, because either you've learnt or you haven't. If you cram it all in in the week off, then it's not a proper fair test. Unfortunately, my parents do not understand. The only person in my family who understands this is my Grandad. But, then again, he had an incredible memory, and read encyclopedias on the weekends. As a kid. He was even one of, or THE, youngest British Sergeant instructors in World War 2. He was... 20 years old, about. Enough of this *waves hands about*. I went up to revise at his house, as instructed by my Mom. So, I packed my new bag with all my books, and hauled it on my shoulder. Let me tell you about the weight and the pressure of the strap... I pretty much collapsed at his doorstep when I arrived. How far to his house? A mile or so. Not that far away... So, yeah.

So, revising? Didn't actually do any. I was gonna, but my Grandad showed me some hat pins from about the Victorian times. Then we spent about an hour cleaning all the black off of it. In case you aren't a scientist, they were made out of silver. Sure, black silver is worth more in the antique world than grey silver, but what're you gonna do? HERE'S A NEW FACT FOR THOSE WHO LEARN NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING!!!!!!!! ...and others. Pure silver, like on the hat pins, turns black because it reacts with sulphur in the air. TA-DA.

So, after cleaning hat pins? Heh, we played card games, like Slam, and Cheat (my favourite!!), and Beggar-thy-neighbour. We spent about 2 or 3 hours doing this. "Oops" is the correct term.

At home, however, I did even less revising. For about half an hour I wandered about for no particular reason, with my Zim toy hanging out of my Zim bag. Sad, I know, but it was strangely amusing. I KNOW!! Tomorrow I'll put BOTH my Zim and GIR toys in the bag!! Whoo, excitement!! I am so risky!! Oh yes, I get hyped up on even the slightest things. The rest of this time, I played various board games that me and my brother could think of/find. This included chess, checkers/draughts, Cluedo, and Monopoly. I lost every game, except for Cluedo. Why did I not lose Cluedo? Since there were the two of us, we decided on having 2 culprits, 2 locations, and 2 weapons. So we both won. It's not fair that he was the only one who knew the rules of chess, plays draughts in his spare time, and that luck (fate?) allowed him to get most of the properties.

♪ Time to end post, time to end post... ♪

Today, I would like to start off with a quote. I found this quote while looking for a game...

Boss: [during a fight about Bijou] You asked her out? You dirty ham! I didn't give you to go anywhere near my girl!
Stan: Oh, shut up, man, She'll *never* be your girl. Even if she wasn't half your age [shouts]
Stan: Paedophile!
Boss: That's "*Mister* Paedophile" to you!
Stan: [puzzled look] ... Excuse me?

That was from a... um... wonderful kid's show called "Hamtaro", hence the picture of the hamster at the top. Learning about s*x is fun and educational! Fundacational!! Jeez, I remember when I used to love this show, after watching it once. It was so childish and gay... Yet so amazingly weird that I was immediately hooked. Thankfully I wasn't as hooked as I was with PokéMon. Nah, I only got 7 toys this time 'round. With PokéMon, I got about 100 toys. And I still have them all. By the way, in case you weren't wondering, this website has some free Hamtaro episodes on it. Just click 'Watch anime' under the girl with the... ice cream, then 'Hamtaro'. Wow. I can't believe I was so hooked on this. I still have that Bijou colouring-in sheet stuck to my bedroom wall. I don't know where the Hamtaro one went, though... Probably grew mould and ran away to start a new cult.

This is, I hope, a half-term holiday. If it isn't, I never said that. Never. You don't know me, my name is not Emily Daniels/Bob/Bobeth, it's Joseph Aba Messiah, and I've come to steal your pickles. If it is half term, then I never said what I did just then. Carry on as normal and go to your corner to eat gophers. So anyway... *sweat drop appears at the side of her head, making her panic at the sudden loss of vital fluids* ... during these 'days off', I have been revising. Believe it or not, I have. My parents don't believe me one bit. But I don't learn eet frrrom a book, I learn it from Bitesize. See? That's something we British have that Americans don't, we have the BBC. Oh dear, that reminded me of a Flanders and Swan song I heard in my Dad's car when we went to Bournemouth today... It went, "The English, the English, the English are best, I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest." LYRICS HERE, my good happy dying cyber baby vampires. ANYWAY, about Bitesize. All of yesterday, I was playing their games. Do not be astonishingly horrofied that I wasted a whole day playing games. They're Fundacational games. Yes. The game I most played was 'RU Revising Science?" That game is so hillarious! The stereotypes they use!! My favorite character is the brother.

From what I can tell, he has a girlfriend who's a witch, a flea circus who has apparently turned on him, is 'king' of the Dog Biscuit Factory floor, and wants to hunt chavs with dogs. I wouldn't mind having him for a brother. Appart from the fact that he has pink hair and pink eyeshadow. Speaking of questionable genders/s*xual preferences, I THINK that the character that is 'you' is a boy. I think. They say 'son' and 'brother' a lot. However, at one point 'you' are colouring 'your' nails with black marker (as I do!!). And, at another point, your Indian father comes into your room, and says something like, "I heard noises! Have you got a girl in here?" Ooh-whoa. Then he says, "Have you got a boy?" At this point I was laughing in a traumatised way.

Other things! I tried to clean out my computer again. I moved half of my pictures to the D drive for a start. Then, I had to delete good MSN!! OMGONOZ!!! Ah well. Anyway, after shifting and deleting, I defragmented the computer.

Spot the difference.

After a wait of several hours, the result came. It was, yep, defragmented. Or just demented. Anyway, my Sims game is a lot faster. And I owe it all to a stroppy computer. *nods head*

Now, let me play the Sims 2.

Poor little post. It was so young... What happened? Oh, I wrote up a new post last night. However, it would not post it onto my blog. I waited all night, and in the morning, and just now I came back to my computer and found that the post had got lost due to a blogger hiccough. Hopefully, it will post it now. And thankfully, the post wasn't as long as other night-time posts. If it was, believe me, I would shut down this blog, in a mourning state. But it wasn't, and I won't. Instead, I will endeavour to re-write it all, making sure I save it onto notepad beforehand.

All yesterday's lost post was about... what happened yesterday. It's always about what happened that day!! Who cares. Now I will write it!

I am a Space Raiders addict. Space Raiders, in case you did not know, are a type of crisp (or potato chip, ye American differentials), which are in the shape of alien heads. So, when I saw that the skool vending machines had been stocked up with them, I immediately pounced and bought three packets. It was a rare treat to see so many, as usually there are only two or three stocked in there behind prawn flavoured... THINGS. And in case you did not know, again, I don't eat sea food. Not because I'm allergic, but because when I was younger, SpongeBob came to me like a religion, and I can't be bothered to eat them again. Anyway, I piled the crisps on top of my books and pencilcase. Steadily, I slithered out of the building, to get to my locker (located in an outside classroom). It wasn't very far, just outside, turn left, walk about 10-20 metres, and there it is. But I didn't make it that far. As soon as I got outside, the pile of crisps and books was too much for gravity, and so they decided to jump out of my arms and roll on the ground, triumphant in escape from my grasp. In doing so, my folders and books flew open, and all the loose papers (I have a LOT) flew away, spiralling in a perfectly-timed gust of wind, like an opened box, which contained hundreds of butterflies. In short, they went EVERYWHERE. I didn't know what to do; run off and attempt to gather my papers, or give up and walk away, leaving the litter level to go higher? No need to do either, but I was going to do the first option. After screaming many curse words, mostly the f-word, a group of about 5 girls ran up, and started collecting the paper, like a bunch of ants collecting leaves and twigs back to their nest. I was really thankful, REALLY thankful. However... I wasn't as thankful as I should be. I was rather... edgy at them looking and poking and DISECTING WITH THEIR SHARP EYES... my papers. I have a rather protective side when it comes to my belongings. I've never liked people looking at my things, and, oh boy, was that a field day for me!!

I'm not paranoid, I'm just aware.

I think I've used that saying on here before.

Before I go, why not see your name in russian?

No, I'm NOT under a LOT of sadness and pressure etc.

First thing I'd like to say. After 8 years, my backpack is going into retirement. Yes, I know how sad it seems that I'm writing about how I'm getting a new backpack. But my old backpack was special. Sentimental sh1t and all that. Y'see, when my Dad went away for a month or two (missing his birthday) to Africa. When he came back (just in time to see me in a school play ^_^), he gave me a backpack which was bigger than me. I was... about 7 or 8 years old. And I'm talking about a backpack designed for hikes and travelling. And now, after all this time, the strap is tearing off. Looking on the bright side? I'm getting a Zim backpack instead!!!!!!

Or, should be.

And let me tell you, it wasn't easy buying it. So, originally HotTopic sold them. But, just as I was going to attempt to buy it, I found out they had no more. I pleaded, PLEADED that they bring them back. However, they could not. Not never. No way. Negatory. But, they turned me away as a customer, and 'suggested' eBay. And eBay was where I found one. Let me say, then... HT, your service sucks. Your stock amount sucks. Your computer system sucks. But your stock is great! Speaking of the suckish computer system... I endeavoured, yet again, to order from their inane 'order now' system. However, yet again, it rejected my order faster than a can kill a plastic. So, I sent an angry email, and also gave an email-order. They rejected my order, saying that they can only take orders via the computer system which doesn't work, or by phone. I see their logic. So, I'm going to waste their money and get them to phone ME. Heh.

More stuffs! Yesterday, I believe it was, we were to have an assembly. I have recently learned that it was to be a boring, POINTLESS assembly, where some people were given badges. As we came into the lecture theatre, we were turned back. Why? Someone was unconcious in the toilets. Good on that person! Even if they had to go to hospital. I reckon they went to a rave the day before, or are heavily pregnant... somehow. So, that was good.

Terrifying day, though. And yesterday. So, it was the last day of skool for the year 13s today. And they celebrated it a LOT. Yesterday, they came into our form room, and put a sanitary towel on the teacher's desk, and threw tampons around the floor. Today, there were balloons filled with flour and condoms scattered all over the skool. I found one next to the vending machines, but decided to leave it alone in case it had already been 'used'. But they were EVERYWHERE. I saw one poor teacher's office FILLED with balloons. In fact, some toilet rolls in the toilets had been taken, too. I have to say, their 'pranks' weren't that imaginative. My list for when I leave, if I leave!!

• Sanitary towels stuck on the clocks
• Tampons replacing the smartboard/whiteboard pens
• Condoms over the microphones
• Ribena in the vinigar pots
• A 'free' pair of extra-large, scary underpants with every canteen tray
• A picture of the headteacher on the toilet doors, with the caption of, "I'm watching you!"

Not really what she looks like. Nah, she looks much worse.

Anyway, I can't think of any other ideas at the moment.

More random news, a cleaner stole my maths books. And they've hidden them. I only left them out for half an hour!! And on Tuesday, I have a maths test (along with other tests...). They're going dooooooooooooown.

Dooooooooown.

D

O

W

N

DOWN!!!

Ah, it's that time of the year again. Eurovision song contest. And you know who I'm rooting for? Finland, naturally! I'm rooting for the Finnish band Lordi, aka the Finland Monsters. Come on, you gotta give them credit for those awesome costumes!!

But, some of the songs in the contest are so DIRE, their painful to listen to. The one before the end, Turkey I think it was, was just TOO painful. It was so out of tune, it was unbelievable. I'm so surprised that some countries are voting for them over us. Well, I don't actually blame them... Our song was pretty crap. The song was "Teenage Life" ~ Daz Sampson. Hey, I don't know these for a fact, I research. Anyway, that song... So horrible!! All these women trying to act like little teenagers, screeching into a what can only be described as a NOISE. They sounded so stereotypically english!! It was terrible.

News just in - Finland has won. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! And those freaks deserve it.

Anyway, I will ramble about the Turkish now. All turkish people that I have come across... So sorry if you are turkish yourself and/or offended of what I say next. All turkish people that I've known have been dispicable, brutal, s*x-obsessed MORONS. There's one girl in my class, who's turkish. And she, I'm not supposed to say this, but, she's 'slept' with both genders. And I think she's still 14 (I think? Meh). Whenever she gets laid, she tells her friends, but in a loud transmitted way that EVERYONE can hear, and she doesn't care. And, she uses her religion as an excuse for anything. She can just call on us as 'discriminating'. And yet, once she was talking to herself in her loud obnoxious way, about how Jesus must have had a 'nice a$$' which was 'good enough to f*ck'. I just wanted to slap her so hard and so bad, about how... INSENSITIVE and IGNORANT she is. Plus, she hates my guts. I wonder why? But she leaves me alone, as I to her, and we're all happy. I guess. There was another guy from Turkey, who I somehow met over the internet. Somehow. He seemed like a 'nice guy' at first, until... Oh boy, I should've submitted this to I-Mockery's Internet Perverts Exposed. Y'see, he just went on and on, conversation-like. Then, he asked... "Do you want to have cyber s*x?" I just blinked. I made diversion-excuses. Thankfully, Nikki was on. So, this is what we did. I accepted, and he was rambling in detail of 'what he was doing to me'. It made me feel so sick... so very nausious. Or however that's spelt. So, I added him to a conversation with me and Nikki. He started saying, "Oh, hello..." And then started yelling at me in another window of why I did that. Then I said I had to go... And blocked him. One Turkish s*x-freak taken care of!

So, what did I do today, other than the obvious watchings of the Eurovis? I went out. A silverscreen store was closing down - the last day for it. The shop BLARED loud music outside, supposedly trying to attract more customers, however that works. It was quieter inside than outside. And so, I decided I'd go buy Gothika, since Nikki was telling me of it once. But then, I saw another Gothika DVD. In fact... 3 DVDs in a set - The Grudge, Gothika, and Boogeyman. All for £12. I buy? I buy. They were even trying to sell off their blackboard for £10!! I haven't got 'round to watching any of them, I started Gothika but I had tea. Then I watched different TV. Then I just didn't get 'round to watching it again. Plus, the sound system on my computer's crap. ...Maybe later.

Now I'm just waiting for 'Most Haunted', which comes on at 12 o' clock. It's 11:30. And if you think I'm sad, you should see it. It's so hillarious!! The live rendition a few weeks ago... HAHAHA!!! The 'psychic' guy said he could 'see' a man, straining away from a wall, because he was chained to it. Then, he went on to demonstrate what the man's doing. He stepped back a bit, leaned forward, and ROARED, causing a presenter woman SCREAMING her head off. I have absolutely no idea why this was put in the 'spooky moments' montage. And last week, that was just amazingly inane, it was funny! OK, so 2 women went down to the basement of a theatre. They said, "If there are any spirits down here, please give a sign." Nothing came. They repeated, more desperately. After a few tries, they called out, "If you don't want us here, make a sound." Immediately after, the generator came on. And these 2 women!! They just flew in the air like cats in a tornado!! So, later, a guy went down there on his own. He asked for noises, and this time he got them. He started 'summarising' everything that happened, then a noise could be heard just as he was rambling on. It went like this - "Shhh!" So, ghosts feel boredom too.

Now I will do nothing. Good dry!

Then why am I playing it? OK. The game I'm playing is PokéMon crystal. Before you judge me and say how sad I am, there're a few reasons why I am playing it.

• I found it and I was bored.
• I wanted to beat the crap outta the PokéMon.
• I've never got to the end, so I just wanted to get to the END for once.

So I have reasons. Lemme speak, now. In about 16 hours, non-consecutive in case you weren't wondering, I had got the the Elite 4. Basically, I have all the 8 badges in Johto (is that what it's called?). Once I beat the Elite 4, there're 8 other badges in Kanto (I'm guessing the names here!), in other words, the original PokéMon yellow, red, and blue worlds. You know it makes... No sence. So, I bought a few hyper potions, and set off. I beat 3 of the leaders. Then, there was the dark-type leader. And after much struggle, no potions, and not much health left, I'd beat her. Suddenly, she reveals my impending doom.

"The champion is waiting for you."

What the...? I was given no tip there was ANOTHER person to beat!! I immediately switched off, and I'm going to punish that game. Speaking of games and things, my most recent VIRTUAL PETs pet has died on me AGAIN. Am I just that bad? Is sleep bad? IS IT?????

Enough of that, I'm sure you'd like to hear about my many zany work experience adventures. So, the last day. Strangely enough, a lot of people have asked if I was happy it was the last day. I will say a saying my cello teacher taught me - "I have yet to form an opinion." Personally, I don't have opinions. Ask me for my opinion on something and I will refuse to give it. There are reasons... For instance, I don't want people to think less of me due to my thoughts. I don't want to be hated because... For an imaginary example...

Some Body - "What do you think of this picture?"

Me - "I hate it. What the hell is it meant to be?? It looks like a 2 year old did it!! No, correction, a 2 year old could do BETTER. I've seen things come outta a dog's a$$ that looks more pleasant than that. Who the f*ck drew it??"

Some Body - "... I did." *runs off, crying and sobbing to their friends, who come to throw me out of the window in a matter of seconds*

It could happen!

So, I have no opinion. Back on the subject in hand!

Last day. What did I spend this rivetting day doing? Right, OK... One of the jobs I had to do was sort out all the dead officers. Shall I elaborate? I had to convert all the profiles of officers who are currently deceased (they might come back, y'see.) from the 'living' files, to the 'currently dead' files. This didn't take long. My coworker-guy-thing came to me half an hour after I had finished it (he was talking the rest of the time), and asked if I had finished yet. "Yes..." I said, aggrivatedly. He blinked, like I'd done something wrong, so horribly wrong, and then asked me to do more jobs. One was to photocopy some pictures of badges. Again, "♪ Quicker than a ray of light... ♪" I had finished. Another job! Copying and pasting on a computer. Done before he could leave the room to get some coffee. Then he got kind of angry with me, because I was going too fast and he was running out of things for me to do. Thankfully, I think it was play-angry... Aheh. So, he ran off for lunch before I could ask for something else to do. (At this point I got my PokéMon crystal game out...)

Time flew by. As a 'goodbye, I'll never see you again until I massacre the population of the building' present, I left a box of celebrations for the office-place, and the shop ladies (with their sanitary towels stuck to their chests...). And you know what? Ye olde Shop ladies gave something in return. They gaveth me a small toy 'lying floppy' dog, and a... I don't know how to describe it. Let's just say, a use for it is to attach my memory stick on it and wear it 'round my neck. It's blue, and it has "Army - Be the best" imprinted on it. That was niceth. =)

Goodbye, Royal School of Signals.

I'll be back.

I was going to get Nikki to post that conversation we had yesterday. She said she couldn't, because it's too long. I tried, and understood immensely. So, in case you are bored/have spare time/are sad enough to read something like this, HERE is the conversation. It is 74 pages long. And sorry if you can't understand some of the things said, it's the emoticons' faults. What I don't understand is why that... HUMAN started saying things about me, even though I hadn't really said anything at that point in time. Inane pigs. Oh, and when Nikki left, I was on my own. She left, not 'accidentaly closed the window'. I pleaded her to come back, for I was the only 'normal' amongst the insolent chavs. And she came back, and played along. Good for her!

So, what happened today? Not a lot, compared to yesterday. OK. So, twice my VIRTUAL PET died on me. Twice! In one day!! Don't they just wait?? So, my spastic sheep died. My bat died. I did choose a fox-thing next, but it gave me the sh1ts. So now I have a weird seal. Thing. Hopefully this one will last the night, and the time I spend at the last day of my work experience.

Today... what did I do?? Dear lord, I have forgotten. I do remember looking through a magazine, and recording the pages which refer to battles, and regiments, and squadrons, etc etc. I remember going to the mail room for no particular reason. In the museum kitchens, they smashed 2 sets of plates, making a new record. I remember... watching a workmate play on a TOTALLY AWESOME GAME!! Sorry if that sounds... American. It's called World of Warcraft. It is just AMAZING. It's like RuneScape but with better graphics, character choices, and better 'special moves'. Problem is, it costs £30. Then, you have to pay £8 a month. No thanks, I'm happy with the Sims 2. *twitches like an addict*

Another thing that happened today. I was told, quite late, that there was to be a fire drill. So, I knew. That was good. There were arrangements made to get me down safely to the fire drill safety point (RV 10, in my case), and so we were all ready. My workmate said he was popping out for a bit, to get something done. I just said, "OK," and went to the library area at the back, and pulled out an original copy of the German version of "Mein Kampf" - Adolf Hitler. And I started reading it. Did I need to understand every word? I didn't care. Suddenly, I heard a whirring scream. At first, I ignored it, then I realised... it was an alarm. At this point I had temporarily forgotten the forewarning, and jumped up - through my mind the following thoughts occured...

"OMG WTF what the hell is that? AAAAAARGH! Bloody hell!! Oh, oh wait. It's just the alarm. Now to follow my wo..."

At this point I remembered Tim, my workmate, had 'popped out for a bit'.

"Oh crap."

So, I got out of that room. 1st step. I went down the stairs. 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th... Heh, sorry, bad pun. I went into the shop, and thankfully the other 'coworkers' were there. So I followed them to RV 10. They started screaming when we walked through a bunch of wasps flying around. I bet they think I was scared of them too, because I was dodging and darting... In actual fact, I was dodging and darting from THEM. Screamy girls are FAR scarier than any bug with wings and a sting. So, at RV 10, others were standing out there, complaining about the apparent cold. A big dog was outside too, jumping up at anything that moved, 'playfully' putting its jaws over peoples' hands. "Aw, look, he's biting my hand! Aw, precious!! He's ripped my hand off!! Aw, diddums..." And so fire drill was over. A pointless excercise was forfilled!

Oh, the shocklyness.

Oh dear LORD. Right now I'm in an MSN convo with a bunch of bleedin' chavs. They're so stupid... their inane comments!! They keep repeating 'lezbo', 'slut' 'suk ur mom' and other unimaginative comments. Hopefully Nikki will post that on her blog. And the story that started it all. *stares at Nikki*

So, today... OK then. I got there at 8am, as I do. my Dad works at 8, so that's the time I've got to be there. Problem is, I start at 9am. And today, I started at 10. The reason for this was because the shop-ladies invited me over "for a brew". Then, they talked about their first boyfriends and sticking sanitary towels to your chest. I was mentally scarred for this. I have no idea why the subject. It was just chosen.

After an hour of this torture, I was taken to the storage room. Yay, storage room! I was asked to draw a to-scale diagram of it. I don't actually see the point in this excercise, because it's a small thing anyway. But I did it. I measured the place, drew it a few times, and got bored of it. And so, I had time to look through the storage room. The storage room of doom. Not really of doom, but I like that word. So, I searched. There were shells, gas masks, morse-code things, still working, telephones... a lot of things. Now, here's a thing... I picked up the gas mask there. I asked if I could put it on, the man didn't say yes, and he didn't say no. So, I put it on for a bit. I put it down, and all was well. Then, another man came in, and discussed if they should put the mask in, and said it wasn't a good idea. I inquired as to why, and they explained of some asbesto dust inside, that can kill if you breathe it in.

Am I gonna die??

I obviously didn't tell them of what I did. I didn't want them to report this to the skool, then I get my a$$ kicked in. Not good. I told my Dad, and he said I should be fine. So I'm going with that.

So, anyway, it's also my Mom's birthday. I did get her a present. All was going well, though, until...

Ninja Nanny showed up.

She ruined EVERYTHING. Her nausiating howling, and the way she was calling me a 'silly baby'. Just because I like lighting the candles, doesn't mean I'm a 'silly baby'. So I just insulted her and played my gameboy for the rest of the evening. Until she left. Good ridance. Yet another birthday ruined by her. And get this - she was asking where I got Mom's presents, so she could buy some for herself. So I didn't tell her. She ALWAYS wants to join in with everything we've got. A holiday, new TV, new car, whatever we have, she has to have. I'm sick of it.

So very sick of it.

BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEURGH

Oh, that bleedin' tamagotchi!!! ...thing. ALL last night, every 5-10 minutes or so, it screeched out some random tones, calling for my attention. I was tempted to throw it out of the window, or flush it down the toilet. Instead, I had to get up at 4am, and take that tamagotchi to the bathroom. This is where I gave the little thing the food and attention it wanted. Even the bathroom noises couldn't drown out the *BEEP* *BEEP* *DINGLE-RINGLE-BING*. No doubt it's going to do that tonight, too.

So, what did I do today? Well, glad you didn't ask that question. Until lunchtime, I had to photocopy letters and emails etc. Then, I had to sort them by date. Sadly enough, I tried to make it a game. I started 'dancing' when photocopying. This 'dancing' was just turning around, making a swift movement of my arms, grabbing the paper, turning again, smacking my arms up against the copier lid, tossing the last paper to the side, throwing the paper onto the copier, and punching the 'copy' button. I soon stopped this, due to paranoia of security cameras and people walking in on me. And sorting... Dear lord! That was tiring. Just looking for dates, sorting them, then marking a number on each one, and recording each enquiry. Apparently, this was meant to carry on until after lunch, but I finished before. Speaking of lunch, which I ran to, I got it all by myselfs today! Usually my Dad escorts me to whereever I'm eating. But this time, I ate in a café all by myself for the very first time in my life. When I sat down... Oh, the stary eyes! Why are they looking at me?? Many middle-aged adults with a friend were eating around me. I was huddled on a stool, backed against the wall, out of view. Or, sort-of out of view. It might have something to do with the fact that my height is similar to a 10-year-old's. I bolted out of there as fast as I could. After eating, of course.

When I came back, though, I was called over before I could go up the stairs. There, at the shop desk, was a teacher from my skool. Which one? Miss Prestidge. Or however that is spelt. So, after leading her to a seat in the crappy café in the museum, she started asking... questions. You know, councillor-teacher questions. "How do you like it here?" "What did you most enjoy?" "Will you make it your career?" (Hell no!) Then, I was handed a 'circle me!' questionaire. I swear I spelt that word wrong. Though I can not be bothered to use the blogger spell-checker. So, the questions were... confusing. One of the questions, which I did not understand the use of AT ALL was the 'Lunch' question. Basically, how good are the lunch options? I had to double-check with her that I read the question correctly. All these questions about the work, ranges of work, and how good you think it is, then suddenly... How is the lunch? Weird...

You're looking tired.

Yeah, so anyway, let me fill you up on happenings of the last few days... That won't take long.

See, the only real thing that happened was the animation class I go to on Saturdays. I carried on with what I was doing last week, which was about a golfer hitting a golfball, the golfball flies through the air and hits a bird, the bird lands in the hole and the ball rolls off. The end. And, I had to wait to use a computer. A long time. So, I drew a spasticated dragon. I'd show you, but I can't be bothered to finish it and wait for my computer to scan it. The dragon has skulls for teeth! Strangely, the teacher liked it. Well, he likes everything, so there. So, I finally got to go on the computer. Near the desk, I swear there was a picture of Ren, from Ren and Stimpy, jacking off on a naked woman and 'fondling' her...... That was... disturbing. But, away from that!! So, I spent bloody ages putting all my pictures onto the computer to let it be animated. In the end, just as I was about to view it, a teacher-helper skidded over, and plonked herself by me to watch what I had done. It was obvious she was not going to retreat until she had satisfied her need. So, I pressed play. And play it did. At the end, she just said... "Wooooooow..." In a gaspy-croaky voice. Then she ran off to hail the other teacher that he MUST see what I had done. A classmate, Claire, came over to watch it too. Why did I have an audience?? Mike, the teacher-guy, after he watched it, just looked at me. Then he went on about how most university students couldn't do what I just did. (What, screw up?) Then he rambled on about how amazingly smooth and natural the animation was. What? He never did this before to anyone else... I'd show you the weird and wonderful happenings, but you'd have to wait until the middle of June (or was it July?) before I can get it home and show you lot. Who wants to wait, here?

So, that was my Saturday. Nothing else has happened. So I will scream about today!

Second week of work experience. This time, I was to be in the museum. I was parked outside, waiting in the slight drizzle of the rain, for the door to open. A woman inside saw me standing there, and cautiously let me in. She started asking questions, when other adults circled me, staring me down with their heavy eyes. I heard one person squeak, "I didn't know we were having a work experience student..." I sort of... lost what little confidence I had after that. What was worse was when others agreed on their statement. Before it got any worse, the woman who let me in hauled me out of the room, and led me to a ROOM WITH A FRIDGE!! Yep, a ROOM... WITH A FRIDGE!! And if I ever want to go to that room but don't know the way, I just say, "Where's the room with the FRIDGE??" So, I settled my belongings on a table, and ran after the woman, back to the room I was in before. This time, all the adults were smiling and 'happy' I was there, like the previous 4 minutes never exsisted. Shortly after most of people left, to rid me from their sight, I was informed a group of 20 kids were coming. To get me. I felt like cowering in a corner in the bathrooms. But they'd STILL be THERE. I didn't have much time until these tiny things showed up. Age range? 7-9. Darn.

I paced the floor, waiting for the appocalypse. When they did show up, I almost screamed, "THEY'RE HERE!!" Instead, I just shrieked that. I watched, as the minors bounced onto the windows outside, like pigeons flying into glass. They looked in, peering and scanning everything, like the genetic mutations they are. They breathed heavy breaths, almost as if to melt the glass. Their teacher let them in, and they piled in, sucking their thumbs and picking their noses, fiddling with their hair and shoving their neighbors. False sweet eyes gazed at one of my 'coworkers', who was explaining the happenings. They were given a question sheet, and I had to feed them their pencils. Sadly, I noticed that one of the boys there was as tall as me. On the past week and a bit I've spent at the camp, I've felt awfully small. Being 4'10" ROCKS!!! As in, it rocks, not I'm being a pile of 4'10" rocks. So, the 'coworker' counted down, and on the given mark, they raced in, screaming and touching things. They could not be stopped now. I was then informed that I had to go in with them, to help them grasp the priceless museum artifacts they could not yet reach. I just went in there, and stood in a corner, watching this. One of the children followed me for a bit, saying how she had lost her friend Claire, and how she didn't know any of the answers to the questions.

"No, get OUT of that ACV!!" "Get OUT of there!! That's the 'staff only' room!!" echoed through the museum. And do not think it was empty asides from them; there were a few other visitors, and some of the army guys have their breaks in the café there. I decided to retreat to the upstairs, away from MOST of them. Then - glory shone before me. The sand dune simulator!! I'd found it at last!! But... the kids had a go first, kicking and screaming and fighting over who was to go next. Everybody went next. However, they didn't know how to properly work it. But it's what made them happy. When they were all towered on top of each other in the small car, I did a puzzle that the children could not master. It was... a puzzle where you have to shine a light through some mirrors, and reach your goal. The children just gave up on the spot. I solved it in all 3... or was it 4? ways that were possible. Soon enough, they had a break. This was my time to go on the simulator. Let me explain... It's made out of a sand dune car. On the screen, it projects an environment which allows you to drive through it, through the car. Mmmyep. I ran away when the kids came back, but I came back to watch as they left. Strange, though... "We've given you a few treats, too. Pencils, rubbers, notepads, sweets..." All the children jumped about, gasping with excitement at each other at the mention of, "sweets". Then they were gone. Forever.

The day the kids came.

After their arrival and departure, I was given one job. Just one. Y'see, the manager-person forgot I was coming until yesterday, so nothing was set up for me. So, she made me type a few details of the items in the museum. One of the items on the computer was marked as, "Eaten by moths in 1996." So, I got typing. It didn't take long, less than half an hour. Then I played minesweeper for the next 15 minutes. Then I went on the sand dune simulator again. After this, I was found and told I was to have a health and safety briefing. Basically... Don't trust guys with backpacks. If you see anyone marking a map, kill them straight away. This lasted about... an hour. I mean the briefing, not the killing. Then I played on the sand dune simulator again. I repelled many visitors away on the time I spent on that thing.

I was wisked away from there at last. Away from the cockney accents of the shopladies and how they were screeching about how low-cut their tops were. But, I was taken to shop for something. It's my Mom's birthday on Wednesday, and I haven't been allowed to get her anything. By this I mean I've been asking and asking if I could go out, but I was told that the drivers were too lazy to go anywhere. And now I could! I did buy her a present, yes, but I also bought something for myself. My first tamagotchi. Well, it's not really my first, and it's not really a tamagotchi. I have the gameboy version of tamagotchi, somewhere. But, it's not really the same thing. And by not really a tamagotchi, it's a "VIRTUAL PETs". In this, the PETs are more 'realistic'. It even has a bat on there!! So, when I got it home, I played it. I chose a bat. I confirmed. A screen with a house came up. And it wouldn't go away. I had to restart, and restart, and restart... And now I'm stuck with a sheep. I'm afraid of changing it, in case the bloody thing never works again. And this sheep... it NEVER wants to play!! It just eats, and sh1ts, and falls asleep every now and then.

So, this is why my Mom wouldn't let me have a tamagotchi.

*Wipes face with hands rapidly, like a hamster cleaning itself* Wh-wh-wha'? Do good days happen?

Let's start with the morning. So what if I was late to 'work'? I had a reason to be. Just as my Dad and I were leaving the house, 3 ducks waddled down our drive. One of them tried to get into the house. It's just that... Ducks? In our driveway?? What're the odds?? 2 were mallards (drake and duck), one was domesticated (drake... I think). So, I fed them some bread. Or, at least, I tried to. I just threw scraps at them and watched as they bounced off their backs. My Mom screamed like a 2 year old at a toyshop, and scampered off to get a camera. In fact, she brought 2 cameras, for some unknown reason. The other one didn't even run out of film. So, the ducks just stepped on the bread, smashing it into the ground and making a white stain on the paving stones. It was still funny to watch. However, I scared them away when I tried to make my way to the car. Apparently, they came back again after about 2 hours.

So, work again. I didn't have that many tasks today anyway. Just printing off the remainder of my works. I was also asked to draw a cartoon character to go on my logo... Don't know what that was about, but I did it anyway. And after doing this, and drawing pictures of fudge, I was then requested to make a short 'biker' flash movie, basically about a biker going down a road on his motorbike. And still, after mounting more pictures, I had time left. So you know what I did? Finished the What the Hell movie. Watch it NOW!! Please note, I drew it crapply on purpose. No, really, I did. And, turn your sound on, folks, 'coz this flash movie has a lotta sound!! Mostly the same sound, over and over again. To detect when the end is nigh, the screen shows "DOING! The end of the line", and a black mark in the top left corner which I couldn't be bothered to erase at the time, but now wish I did. I would've put a playback button and a play button, but I couldn't get it to work properly. That sucks. That sucks lemons.

Have a baby sucking on a lemon.

I'm surprised the baby's tastebuds don't implode on themselves, the force of which causes the baby's body functions to backfire, thus making the body empty its little self out, making a large mess the size of the river Thames. But, maybe it did, I don't know.

Anymore good aspects of the day? Glad you didn't ask that question. Well, sir, I found Jhonen V's livejournal!! Boomshackalacka... Shame the comments're turned off, because if they weren't, I'd be sending countless fan-screams. Instead, I will declare my love FOR HIS WORK here.

I ♥ JHONEN'S WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORK!!!!

Falling in love with the guy himself would just be weird. I'm... not meaning to offend or imply anything, but... It's stupid loving some guy who you'll most likely never meet (well, I most likely won't, because it's the wrong country for a start...), and screaming at every other fan that s/he's 'yours'. For all you know, the person behind the singer, artist, etc could be the most infuriating person you'd ever meet, and absolutely hate everything that they imply to like. ...Just agree with me here if you don't understand. I know someone who is in 'deep' love with Blancmange-ovi (Bon Jovi), even though she is about 30 years younger than him. And she has persuaded herself that his current wife (girlfriend? Lover? Whoever it is) is gay, and doesn't love him at all. She might soon get out of this state, because she used to be 'Orli's Number 1 Fan'. Now she has pictures of a semi-naked Blancmange-ovi as her MSN avatar. (And it scares me a lot...)

But... why do people love someone they've never met? Buy blow-up doll versions of them, hang pictures of them on their walls, most of which are semi-naked or naked, buy their albums or books or whatever, and stalk them through the internet? (Well, I've done the last thing on that list...) Why do they copy them? (I've done this... oops) It's just... weird. Fanaticism, if there is such a word, is a confusing subject. Maybe, maybe it has something to do with wannabes; if they act like them, they'll BE them. They'll be rich and famous and as tallented (or tallentless) as them. Oh dear lord... I've just had worrying flashbacks of my past... when I loved SpongeBob so much it was scary. I still have that giant toy of him where he's only wearing underpants... *shudders so much she causes an earthquake* Personally, I don't like him that much anymore. Yeah, I watch the occasional SpongeBob episode now and then, but not as religiously as I used to. Now I've seen the light - the very dark light - and started liking Jhonen things more. And this happens to everyone, they declare their 'undying' love to their idol in chatrooms, webpages, to friends, or whathaveyou, then soon enough, they lose interest in them and take on a new idol. So, falling in love with your idol is just plain stupid. What's even worse is a duplicate idolism (my term!), where someone loves all the members of a band, or all the members of two bands, etc etc. Isn't that, like, cheating on your idol, in effect? Quite recently, one lunchtime, the lunchtime locker friends (heh) were discussing all the 'cute boys'. There was one heck of a long list. The list varied from Snape in Larry Schmotter, to some gay guy called... *sniggers*... Paddy. Oh, erm, sorry if that's your name. Please, define... cute.

1. Delightfully pretty or dainty.
2. Obviously contrived to charm; precious: “ [He] mugs so ferociously he kills the humorit's an insufferably cute performance” (David Ansen).
3. Shrewd; clever.

Pretty? Dainty? Guys aren't either of them. Certainly not dainty. Most sluttish girls prefer their men as 'Testosterone man'. Charm? Precious? Maybe charm. Precious, maybe. Shrewd and clever... No. Just no. Most slags like guys to be as thick as bricks, and maybe thicker. (Teen Girl Squad Number 2 - "You must be girls." It's sad I know that.)

I'm slightly going off the subject which diverted my attention. But, why is that? Why do girls and boys like saying, "S/he's hot... and her/him... I'd like to score a homerun with her/him..." This doesn't happen with just their idols, it's also with people wearing little clothing at the time. Hey, look at how much I've written... I've spent over an hour writing this. And I'll continue until it gets to 12 o' clock!! Hey, I've just found a quote from ol' Winnie Churchill... "A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject". That's so bloody true. I know a few people like that. Fanaticism is just inane. They just see the actor on the outside.

Anyway, with me, I don't love Jhonen V, Weird Al, or David Jason like that at all. And I'm proud of my as*xuality. *'Whoo's like a train on fire*

Oops, I wrote too much. I am deeply sorry. Hey, you can fit at least 2 or 3 average blog posts in this one post!!

Heh. The title of this post is linked to a StrongBad email - Death Metal. It's probably my favorite SB email... watch it NOW!!

So, what, today at work, everything went as normal. Just, sitting at a computer, working on the What the Hell movie behind my 'coworkers'' backs. But wait!! A change? Is this possible?? Today I managed to mount my printouts onto card!! GAAAAAAAASP!! And no, it's not just sticking them onto card. It's not that simple. First... You have to measure up the printout to the card. Then, but a layer of sheet underneath, which will act like glue. Then, some sticky laminated-like paper goes on top. Next, it goes on some sort of vacuum. And when it comes to cutting it all... you could easily chop yer fingers off! I'm surprised I wasn't supervised... Oh well.

I was presented with more work after this. Dominic (coworker thing) wanted me to scan some images in. Of c.1914 pictures. Yet he was happy that I could smash the pictures up a bit, and rip them and... Heh. So, I scanned these in, and I thought that was all. I was... so wrong. After lunch, as this all happened before lunch, he asked me to make all the pictures orange on photoshop. What's the deal with that?? So, I did as he asked anyway. But I'm still pondering why he wanted them orange... I must not question a graphic designer.

Another thing, I heard of an amazing... thing. I don't know how to describe it. Basically, you text a question, any question, to 63336. (Costs £1, british audience.) And they can answer it for you, no matter WHAT question it is. I've asked a few, myself. Wasted £5... but it was sorta worth it. The company's called AQA - Any Questions Answered. Here's some of the best results I got from them:

(Me) Why is pink associated with girls?
(AQA) Before 1918, the colour gender association was reversed. It is only since the 1960's that girls have been more linked with the femininity of pink.

Wasn't that educational? They also answer random questions.

(Me) What is a good name for a spontaneously-combusting rabbit?
(AQA) Good names for a spontaneously-combusting rabbit include Hoppit, Burner, Banger, Bucky, Thumper, Pop, Smokey, Sparkey, and Charles.

(Me) If we all worshipped a giant potato, what would society be like?
(AQA) There would be many differences. The eating of chips or crisps would be sacrilege, spud guns would be outlawed, and the Potato's prayer would be common.

I love AQA now. Even if their prices are pretty high.

Also, we did find that memory stick; it was embedded in between the carseats. (YAAAAAAAAY!!) And so now, I've pretty much reached the end of the What the Hell movie. So, expect an URL for it soon!!

This morning... my Dad spotted something on my security visitor badge thing. Where my name is... it is marked as "Emerly Daniels". I kid you not... I reckon that's how I'm going to spell "Emily" from now on.

So anyway... today and how it went. This day I was required to bring some crappy photos of my family. Which I did. The purpose of this was to make a montage, like yesterday, and make it into a poster. So, I kept blending all these pictures of my family together. But, I had to debate with myself for a long time whether I should include a picture of the deceased Nan in there. After debating and debating and debating, I did include it. Also in there, there's a picture of my cousin Charlie. No, not the rubberchicken shagging cousin. Anyway, the look on his face... he's staring demonically at the camera. I was asked if I would put the poster in my room... I explained it would cause nightmares.

After doing this, I was asked to draw a cartoon character of some sort to go on the motorbike logo. I have absolutely no idea what that was about, so I didn't work on that much. Instead, I worked on the What the Hell movie. What did I add? OK, after the GREEN bit, there's a zoom-in of some eye. It opens from sleep. Then it closes again. Zoom out, a random lady in her bed screams. A troll runs up to her, and steals her head. Next, there is a random floating head. It says it can float. (Woo.) And, it says it has magical powers. Then, it allows more COLOUR into the movie. The fairy which made everything green melts. Then, some random guy coughs, then jumps up screaming, "YAAAY!!" and his eyes swirl. Then he turns evil. Then explodes. Fun, no? There's more. A snail comes on, and looks around. Quickly, he pulls out a salt shaker. "No, Johnny, don't do it!!" is 'heard' from the side. Then a crapply drawn snail (the snail) says how he can do what he wants. Then he sprinkles salt on himself, and shrivels up. That's basically the rest of the outline so far. Problem is... I saved this to my Dad's memory stick. And he's lost it. Maybe for good, maybe just a simple misplacement which will be solved tomorrow. I sure hope it can be found, because I neeeeeeeeed that memory stick to continue it all.

One last thing... Heh, this is quite funny. Today I found out I won a competition. This is the first competition I've ever WON, when there're runners up as well. I came first place!! Man, I beat those 10 year olds!!! Lol!! Here is Google's cache of the competition thing page. Why am I posting a cache version? In case the next newsletter comes out and the data is lost. So that link *should* work in future. Notice, notice how these 10 year olds are just writing a sentence or two of their 'fairly odd moment'. I wrote a bloody essay. So, I totally p0wned those children!! By the way, I tried to make it seem like I was 10, which would explain why what I wrote was rather... childish. Apparently I win a toy... I BEAT THE 10 YEAR OLDS!!!!!

So, was today good or bad? I class it as one of the 'excitement and headaches' series.

Also, I do lurid thanky dance to Nikki, who has been declared as my new best friend. I am not going to let you live this down!! I bet I'm going to act all Keef-y towards you now...

I have no idea what happened to the title.

But, yes, more work. DAY 2 of work experience. Today, went in, just as I was told to, an hour earlier than yesterday. I just came in, like I had been working there for 72 years. Aheh, that's stretching it, but you know what I mean. Eep, "Who do you think you are kidding Mr Hitler, if you think we're on the run..." Why am I half-watching Dad's Army at the moment? Weeeell, why not? I've just broken from the topic! Back I go! Watch me flyyyy back...

*SPLAT* Back it is. So, I entered the room with a moose. My greeting was, "You're early!" Only by... 5 minutes? Sure, OK then. This day I was made to shove my motorcycle design onto a lorry and a car. This was a rather pointless excercise which took up about 1 and a bit hours... Perfect. Well, I had to draw the lorry and the car. Then 'shop the logo on them. I don't actually know why I was made to do that, but I obeyed orders. ("Yes, my master!!") So, I had two pictures of 2 vehicles with a crappy logo on.

Yes, but the next bit was a bit more entertaining. I was requested to make a montage of pictures in photoshop. So, to do it, I had to... it's complicated, erm... I had to blend the pictures together... is that the right term? I'd show you, but I have sh1tty old photoshop compaired to the one I used. Oh, wait, I found one some person did... HERE!! Notice how the pictures all blend together... Not the bestest example I'd like to use, because what I did, I had to make it blend like the pictures were ajoined and you couldn't tell how many pictures there really are involved in it. Wow, long sentence!!

So I blended the pictures. Then blended them some more. Then blended until it just spoilt it. Then I had to re-blend it as a result. So, you know, this wasted most of the day. Blending pictures of motorbikes. I got hidiously bored of doing this, because in effect, I had finished. A long time ago. So, what was I going to do? What did I do? Heh, I made a flash movie! Well, it's not finished... But who cares? It's called... "The what the hell movie!!" Catchy title? And it's just random. I guess it's a cross between The Demented Cartoon Movie, and Teen Girl Squad. Beware, if you are to click the link for the DCM, I have to warn you, it's a 30 minute long flash movie. It's enough to make you spontaniously combust on the spot. And, I've watched it twice, which is extra sad. To start with, on my flash movie, everything is in blue - the title shows. There is a random little stick man. He says, "I HAVE A HEAD!! Yep, I do." Then he gets crushed with a giant block of something. Next, a fairy comes along. ("I am a... FAIRY!!!!" "Lol wtf p0wned") Then a flyswatter splats her. ("P0wned!") Then she comes back, and says that as punishment, she must turn everything GREEN!!!! ("Oh noes!") ...and that's as far as I've got. I couldn't do much anyway, as I kept being watched. And I'll continue it tomorrow! Heee.

Work experience? What's the point? I mean, we don't get paid, we don't really learn anything, what you're allowed to do is limited, and the hours are longer. But, we are still made to do it.

It was scheduled for me to be raised at about quarter to 7. But, the useless mother refused to properley wake me. (*whisper* "Emily... wake up... Oh, never mind.") So I got up at 7 instead. And I had to leave at 7:15. Stupid mother. But, but, it was a good thing that I wasn't taking public transport, and that my Dad was shipping me off.

Honestly, in times like these, I'd get deathly nervous, almost to the point of projectiling vomit out of every orifice. Hmm, I use that phrase too much... But, in this case... I wasn't. It was like, I didn't care enough to be nervous. A pointless excercise doesn't deserve my nervousness.

So, I gotted there. I'm not allowed to say some things about the place I went - Blandford Camp - because my Dad believes there are Neo-Nazis reading this and terrorists with a spare bomb at hand, and that they'll blow up the camp if I give away these 'secrets'. So, some things I cannot say. Shame, really, because they were quite funny. I was lead to a small free-standing office, even though I did not know what was going on and why I was being lead there. I soon found out that it was the place where I was to get one of those clip-on badges for visitors. It was instructed of me to stand on a marked T on the floor, and in front of me was a small webcam-like camera. (Hey, isn't that what a webcam is anyway? Oh well.) I learned it was to take my photo. But it was too hard not to laugh; the camera moved about in such a comical way, it screwed up my photo. So I look such a prat on my badge - even more than I am.

Next, heh, I was an hour early. Not my fault, or anyone's, it's because my Dad had to be there, and what's the point of coming back for me? So, for this time, I went on the internet and did various things. I would've gone on Johnny RocketFingers 2, but I was being watched all the time. Instead I went on my website, and somehow managed to accidentally get a picture of Vince sitting on a toilet as the computer's background. Oops. (I later changed this to a picture of GIR.) Then, time went on, and I was expected to be told how to be safe.

Hardly safe. I'm always paranoid about slipping or tripping over and falling flat on my face. It made this worse when I was made to walk across a freshly-polished marble stone floor. But, I got to the room. The room of doom. The room with a moose. Some guy, claiming to be the one in charge, ushered me into this....room. In there were two other WE peoplesses - A girl called Annabell who goes to my skool, and a boy named Carl... Karl... I think? Something like that. They were both in the PE department, being fitness instructors or something. I learned they had to have a test before they do anything there... What happens if they were to fail? But, I was stuck in the graphics department this week, then in the museum next week. Anyway, Mr Fish, our guy in charge, vaguely said about... anything. He gave us a couple of phone numbers, then 'used' us. He made us transfer some cups of coffee to the other end of the building, the cheapskate. Thankfully I was lead to the graphics depo soon.

Thankfully?

When I arrived, a man who was formally known as Dominic came to meeeee. He showed me everyone there, making me shake hands with them all. As soon as I shook hands with half the population of Blandford camp, I was given a safety check. This was... I forget. He said there were knives or something nearby, but I wasn't really listening. I only listened up when he said something along the lines of, "Now, then..." or, "Over here..." He lead me to a computer (with two screens!!), sat me down, and made me watch a flash file he made on safety. I was more interested in the graphics tablet and the stylus-pen. All I know is "2222" is the emergency number there.

As soon as I was done listening about how fires were hot and knives are sharp and screaming "FIRE!!!" repeatedly gives you strange attention, Dominic came over, and showed me... Adobe Illustrator. It's much better than crappy MS Pain-t!! He talked me through all the tools... "Paintbrush makes a mark. Try it. Try it NOW." Which took about an hour. Then, I was made to do whatever I wanted. Know what I drew? Have a guess... yep, you probably got it, I can't really hear you since this is only a blogpost you know; the first thing I drew was Jem. And, I was made to print it for some reason. But, I was given my first task soon enough. It was to make a logo for some motorcycle team - The White Helmets. So I was given a bunch of pictures of them, and made to draw a bunch of sh1t which they thought was painful to look at. How do I know they disliked it intensely? "Your drawings are... very cartoony. But, that's good, right? You want to be an animator, you told me..." They weren't meant to be 'cartoony'... And my logo wasn't much better, either. I mean, OK. I say 'logo'. I don't know what comes into your head, but the first thing that comes into mine is some sort of a 'cartoony' drawing. Look it up on google! 'Logo'. You'd most likely come up with a simple drawing. And that's what I did. I spent the whole day drawing a bloody motorbike... I even gave it 3D effects! I was told to print it off and...

"Well, that's a good start."

Oh, that's nice. I just spent the whole bloody motherfudging day drawing a bloody motorbike and you say it's a 'good start'!!!???!

I'm not happy.

I dread tomorrow, now.

Mmm, yep. This is a picture of Pikachu and Raichu fighting... why did I choose this picture? 3 reasons... 1 - It's a change from an Invader Zim picture. 2 - I was playing PokéMon on the way to the place in question (GASP! Sad act!!). 3 - Raichu p0wns all!! I'm sorry, but Raichu's always been my favorite one for some reason. I'm happy killing all PokéMon, but Raichu must liiiiiiiive!! I know, I know, it's sad. But I think all other PokéMon suck like hell.

But anyway, what is the place in question? Long story. Well, not really, but y'know. OK, so, I mentioned it was Kim's birthday. So, for some reason... Nikki I think came up with the idea... we planned a surprise party for her. All week we were keeping it from her, or tried to, at least. And today was the day where the teddy bears did NOT have their picnic, oh no, we had it instead. At friend Jade's restaurant. Well, it's not her restaurant, but her Mom's... ARGH! So, we waited at the restaurant for some time, waiting for Jade and Kim to arrive. And when they did, we dashed to the toilets to hide. Mmm hmm, but Jenni exposed herself... Whee! The fun with words!! So, anyway, she was seen, and our cover was blown. What the hell, we came out, and that was that.

I like chinese food. I do, I do. Not that much, but I do like a few of the kinds of food. For example, I like spare ribs. Spare ribs with sweet and sour... Feed me that any day! And the chicken... it's prepared in a strange way. And I like it. Any meats from chinese are good with me. And wouldn't you know it! The restaurant was a chinese one. So, to begin with, there was spring rolls and crab... things. I don't eat seafood, so I ate 2 spring rolls instead. They are... very strange, I have to say. The taste I don't know how to describe, tolerable is the best word. The texture, though, is like, stringy and strangely chewy. So, they were swiped away, and in their place was RIBS and CHICKENNNNNNNN. In the 'how much you can eat' competition, I came second. Aw. Jenni beateddddd me. I ate 4 chicken things and 9 spare ribs. Mmmyep. I would've eaten more if there was more.

So, we'd eaten all of that. Suddenly, Jade announced that the main was coming up soon. We couldn't believe this - we thought that what we had just eaten was the main! So, that's chinese cuisine for you. Main was a bunch of things, of that which I ate was some s&s chicken thing, and CHIIIIIIIIIIPS (or FRIIIIIIIIES for the Americans). Then there was ice cream. Very oriental.

But, to relate back to the title of this post, there was the birthday cake. With it, there was a candle which screamed out the tune of 'Happy Birthday' when lit. So, it was lit. And after about 2 or 3 times of screeching the song in our ears, it slowly slowed down to an unrecognisable tune. The battery had died after 3 uses. We had fun passing this dying candle 'round to each other to hear its last wailings.

And now I am home, writing about my day, hooray! And tomorrow is animation class again, in which I hope I will be animating my last piece.

Guess who made a sucky picture to go with the date!! A LOT of 'shopping went into this picture. Heh. ULTIMATE 'SHOPPING!!!! Weeeeeeeeeird... Jem as princess Leia, if you didn't guess. But, yeah... yeah.

Speaking of may the 4th... I tried to yell that at someone today. However, at the beginning of the day, I forgot. When it was the afternoon, I remembered. BUUUUUUUUT... the teacher got there before me. Daaaaaaaamn. Well, I tried. But when I got on the bus home, I managed to scream at Fred in a loud screamy voice "MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!!!!!!!" Well, it wasn't that loud. But you get the idea, hopefully. And so now, I pass it on to you.

But, anyway, today was the somebody's birthday. The Kim's. I would've given her a present, but... I forgot until the shops were shut. So instead, I gave her a sh1tty card. With a picture of Jem inside. Like she'd know who she is... But who cares. It looked like she was very confused, so very confused indeed. (Wait for it...) Indeedy doody.

Here's something which you might look doooooooooown on me for. OK, last night, I worked all night... well, not all night, in fact, only about an hour or two, on a biology report. About drugs and alcohol. So, I copied and pasted everything from BBC Bitesize... nah, I kid. I don't copy and paste, I'm smarter than that. Teachers can find out. It's called "Google". Anyway, so I did all this work, which lasted about 3 pages long. Problem isssssss... OK, I was told it was on Drugs and Alcohol. But it was actually on just SMOKING and alcohol. I'm sure many people out there have had much worse things, but my 'friends' gasped and muttered expletives on my behalf (that half-rhymes!), making it seem wooooooooorse. I was hoping that the teacher wouldn't ask for them in today, but, she did. So I had to explain that I kinda did the wrong thing... But she didn't care. So... was that a good thing? Or will she just mark me down? We will only find out in time...

Time sucks.

Heh, a random picture I made in about half an hour yesterday. I don't actually know why I drew it... but who cares? Well, I guess I was randomly p1ssed off with PokéMon so I drewded it. Plus, I just hate Pikachus. They're just so... bleeding evil things. Little rat things. Anyway, I liketh the blood. Blood is nice. Marvel at my photoshopping 'skills'. Here, have a game which REALLY p1sses me off. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, about the pink GIRs... Recently I bought from eBay a GIR toy (yay!). And wouldn't you know it, today I received it. The decription on the eBay... thing was that it was 16". This package I received had managed to easily fit through the letterbox. Well, I guess it's better than cycling to Wimborne and back, eh? I carried the light package to the kitchen table, and started disecting the envelope-like packet. But anyway, I opened this package. And inside, there was a GIR toy, but...

GIR was...

Pink.

Let me remind you of what color he really is -

GIR is the robot, not the pig. Heh. Now, what color would you say that was? Grey? I think so too. But this GIR was pink. What more, it was like his head was stuffed with the stuffing, then he was just squeezed so that the stuffing spread to the other parts of him. So, when I held him up, his head flopped over. It looked 'wrong', too. So, I had a pink, floppy... thing. AND he didn't look that right either. His head was too long, and his shoulders were giant and stuck out like a sore thumb... er, two sore thumbs.

So, what am I going to do with IT? I'm going to stuff him (heheheheheh). To do this, I'm going to cut him open, and stuff the cotton stuffing inside him, so he doesn't go limp like baby plush-toys. Then I'll sew him up! After that, to make him not look like a GIRl, I'm going to dye him grey, like he should be. But, that'll be tricky... I'd have to cover his eyes etc somehow, so that they don't turn grey.

Hmmm............. Will it be worth it?

Ooh, yay! The new Johnny RocketFingers game is out!! Bloody hard, though. HERE!

Oh, and before I go, have a picture which amused me slightly.

OK, OK, I laughed very very hard. Heh.