Hello again, loyal fans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*cough*
I have been away doing stuff. Tenerife. Would talk about that, but what happened yesterday was more interesting. (Well, not really, but I won't gloat over holidays.)
Coz yesterday was a very historical event. It was the second time I have ever been out shopping with friends. What? I'm 17, and it's the second time ever, honest. The first was when I was about 13, and that was very short. And quite boring. But that time I bought a SpongeBob mug, so I didn't mind (I still have it).
But I somewhat digress. Back to yesterday. It was a random trip, for no real reason other than to say, "HELLO AGAIN." 'Twas myself, Hannah, and Sarah. And, OK, the shops we stuck to were clothes and sweet shops. I didn't complain about the clothing part because I can be quite tolerable (I hate clothes apart from the ones I'm wearing) but I drew the line at the sweet shops. The first one we went into was like, nuts galore.
Which reminds me, I lasted all week on holiday without having a nut-related reaction. Y'see, my ma forgot to pack my allergy med. In fact, she forgot to bring it home to pack (she's a pharmacist). Anyway, on the coach back to the airport, some kids were eating cakes behind me, and, GUESS WHAT!! I had a reaction. So as soon as we arrived at the airport, we had to go to the Pharmacy, which, thankfully, they had one. So I no die. Still, horrendously bad luck.
Anyway, back to yesterday. Another historical event - First time I have been in MacDonalds in about 10 years. Hooray (?), broke the fast-food celibacy. Anyway, I decided to make the origami model 'Rhoad's Bat' because I am sad and know it off-by-heart. Anyone who knows this model, will know you need some form of cutting instrument to do the legs. So, while I was folding the little paper place-mat they have on the trays, I realised I needed a knife and instinctively drew out my flick-knife that I usually keep in my pocket, and started cutting away. For the record, it is, in fact, within the legal limit by about half an inch (or so I have been told...). But I instantly heard gasps from the kids on the table next to us, mixed with a chorus of the voices of children hissing, "Knife!", and the parents whispering, "Don't look at her... just don't look at her!!"
Ahem ahem enough of the ASBO of the year awards. My companions bought many clothes. I, on the other hand, defied the laws of femininity, and bought some black nail varnish (What?) and a french dictionary. Oh, and a bar of chocolate in order to fulfill the '36 pence off' offer when you buy 4 bars. And I also drooled over the Rammstein CDs in HMV, which doesn't make sense, because I have them all anyway...
So. My parents have just told me something.
I'm not allowed to go to university when I'm older.
"Why?" You may ask. "Why?" I asked. They say that it's a waste of time.
The one thing that really irks and bothers me to the extreme is that learning I'm not going to university makes me realise... how much time was wasted training me up to go to university!
Think about it.
How many hours were spent teaching me stuff I need not know? How many hours of countless exams (we british are notorious for over-testing the students)? How many hours of talks on personal statements and similar shit? How many hours next year will I spend having these talks...????
And what's it all for? I have the GCSEs, and I can easily get a low-paid job out of them. I've already sat my AS-levels, etc etc... To be perfectly honest I don't understand my parent's decision, but then again, they would be the ones funding it so without their support I cannot go. Simple as.
At least, I guess, I won't need to write that bloody personal statement. What's the point? "Hi I'm Randy I'm great I want to do this subject at uni because I've got nothing better to do for the next 3 years. For the past 18 years I've been playing computer games and looking up porn on the internet."
Tutor's response: "Wow! They could play video games when they had just been born?!? They must be smart!!" etc.
Ahem. Anyway.
It's time for the catwalk. We bought our wee cats a couple of collars because they've brought in too many dead birds. Well, Jasper has. But then I thought if we don't get one for Rosco as well he might be jealous of Jasper's new collar and Jasper might be jealous that Rosco doesn't have to get the same mistreatment.
So here are they with their new collars.
Sorry you can't see Rosco's one that well, but his collar has managed to get engulfed in his fur. Similar problem with Jasper.
They really didn't like their collars at first. Jasper was the first victim, and when we got the collar out of the packaging, he stood up on his hind legs and put his front paws on my leg and tried to reach up at the collar, because he wanted to know what it was. He was rather surprised when I put it behind his neck and clipped it into place. He hunched over in the corner and looked like he'd just been sprayed in the face with a surface cleaner. When he got up again, he heard the little bell ring, and sharply turned to see what was behind him. This went on for about 15 minutes, until he realised what it was and somehow (don't ask me how) he managed to get the collar stuck in his mouth, like a horse's bit.
Rosco was even worse, though. When his was fixed 'round his neck, he hunched himself over and would not move, and gave a pitiful look, like he'd just been raped. Also, he got his collar in his mouth, too. So erm we did er tighten these collars, don't worry. And this morning, Rosc was playing with the bell, pawing it and chewing on it so I don't think he minds anymore.
We've also nicknamed them the court jesters, because... umph work it out.
I'm going now. The tintinnabulation of these bells is driving me mad.
Sorry you can't see Rosco's one that well, but his collar has managed to get engulfed in his fur. Similar problem with Jasper. 
