Dear Die-ary...

Oh wow, look at the color on that!! I've just done yet another p1ss test. The yellow one is normal, that is, no sugar/glucose/whatever you want to call it, in your p1ss. Light green is diabetic. Dark green is such a lovely color! (Note to self, never use scanner again...)

But still, that is the main theme of today. Appart from the fact that today was the last day of skool this term. Such creme eggs I gave out! Such grateful thanks I got! Such devious soul-destroying stares I got... Yes, some b1tches weren't thankful at all. These were the people I considered as my 'friends'. In fact, I only got 3 easter eggs anyway, from Charlie, Jade, and Jonesy. Everybody else hates my guts. Well, Fred said she would have given me this chocolate duck, but it got crushed. The thought is there. Everyone else may go to hell.

Anyway, back to the 'main theme'. I FINALLY went to the doctors today!! Whipee!! (A new word...'whipee'.) But, the only reason for going there was just for my megalomaniacal eczema. Yes, it is megalomaniacal. At the moment, as it moves around a lot, it's on my hands and my arms. Every once in a while, blood is drawn. It's deliciouzzzzzzzzz. I'm starting to think the eczema's going to spread to my legs again... Ah well. So, there I was, with my Mom, in the doctor's room. That sounds so wrong, but you know what I mean. Unfortunately, it was the gittish doctor that my Dad hates. Fortunately, he wasn't so bad. At one point, he even accidentaly said, 'pee,' instead of, 'urine'. Heh, informal doctor. Anyway, we talked about the diabetes problem first. He went through all these questions, like, "Do you get tired, do you *pee* a lot, do you drink a lot," (at this point I held up a giant bottle of juice I had with me) and more questions. So he said I should get a blood test. My Mom was screaming at how much I hate blood tests, to which I snapped back saying he could take as much blood as he wants, I love having blood drawn. He said I have to go to a hospital to get that done. Why couldn't he do it there and then? But he did ask if I was willing to give him a urine sample there, to which I immediately shouted, "NOOOOOOO," and that was that.

So onto the eczema. He examined my arms and hands, and drew up some conclusion, "You have eczema." He and my Mom then proceeded in speaking in Phamacist-talk about creams and sh*t. I didn't grasp a word of what they said. Good thing my Mom's a pharmacist, otherwise I'd still be back at the doctor's surgery. He then asked if I had it anywhere else, to which Mom informed him it was on my neck. There was a gooooooood look in that area. He even shoved his hand part-way down my t-shirt. CHILD MOLESTER!! Heh. But what the hell, the trip there wasn't really worth it.

Mmm, mmm... mmm... maffths test.

Many people have been telling me how easy the maffths test would be. This made me overly-confident. I was certain all would be swell. Sure, I did revise, but I thought remembering about histograms, statistics, probability, and all the other subjects in that catergory, would be a piece of cake. Mmm, cake. I want sugar. ANYWAY, the revising was soon done.

So I went up 3 flights of stairs to the maffths room. I hate stairs. Ugh. And so, we took our places. A girl next to me asked us to shoot her. She said it would be as hard as anything. It was more off-putting when people were wishing others good luck, as if they expected us to fail miserably otherwise. But soon, this thing was started.

OK, here is a random break because I've just been watching "AAAH! Real Monsters!" Anyone remember that show? I remember watching it when I was about 5 or 6 at my EXfriend's birthday party... Good times, the 90s. Ickis, in the picture above, was always my favorite. Moving back onto the subject!!

Everyone around me was busy writing...stuff. Yes, but when I got onto one of the first questions, I just sort of... died. It was the subject I had JUST BEEN REVISING, and I could remember only half of it. And so half of it I did, in half the time we were given. Oooooops... Notice I'm not saying the SUBJECT of the question, as we're not allowed to discus this, as it is giving an 'unfair advantage'. So therefore, I'm zipped. Anyway, more questions like that followed, and at one point for about 2 minutes, I just suddenly broke down, all systems shut off. I had to get my head together, as my work was just getting messed up. Now I know how Windows computers feel like.

What made this breakdown worse was that it was when I had little time left. And others were still working hard around me. After these more-or-less 2 minutes, I zoomed off to catch up with everyone. And I think I managed to, even if I got them wrong. In fact, I'm sure at one point the person next to me looked at my work. I hope she did copy. That'll teach her for copying from the wrong person.

In the end, I somehow managed to finish on time. Questions were missed out, sure, but miracles can happen. But still, I think I flunked.

Flunked so very much.

And yet, there are still more cheaters, I heard of one girl who did a rather bad crime. Her name, I cannot say. What the hell, her name's "Cat". She was asking her neighbors about the answers. Note that - asking. She did that to me, once. When I had my music lesson, I had to sit outside and do the tests with other people who missed the original test day, which I also did myself. And the same girl was asking people the answers. Beardo the Weirdo - Natasha 'Tash' Anderson - foolishly gave them her. Even another girl, Hannah Harford, asked me the answers on my way up from my music lesson. At that point, I didn't know. But later when actually doing them, I UNDERSTOOD them (and later found out I was on the right track, in other words, I got most of them right) but I didn't want to share them, as that would not be fair.

And guess what? Hannah and Cat had the lowest marks in my class, and I had one of the highest.

Shame on them!! XP

Heh, that's a picture I made in German. It's of Ralf Schumacher, or however the hell it's spelt. I just HAD to put that caption there. So I did.

Speaking of German, I have that next. I think... unless if something very very strange happened like I just jumped into a time loophole, and it's actually 3 weeks later and I have, say, Engrish next instead. But I don't think so. Anyway, about the German, we have to do about some famous german we like. Lots of people are doing them about popstars, celebrities, etc. One group are even doing about Hitler!! He's Austrian, not german, for a start, secondly my german teacher is german, so that's kinda.......

Bad.

My group, however, which consists of Sophie, Charlie, and of course, heh, me, are doing about the brothers Grimm. This may sound a bit weird, and possibly nerdy for they collected fairy tales, but it's actually very awesome because we get to read stories for 'research'. And the stories are quite awesome, themselves. Look them up in google. I spent yesterday reading some. Dear lord they had a few twisted minds in those days. And a few twisted minds in these days, too.

As you might have been able to tell, I'm in skool. In ICT. And my eyes hurt so bad. They did yesterday, as well. They sting, and it's really really really... I don't know how to describe it... stingy? Meh.

I haven't posted any pictures yet of Weird Al on this blog. So have a picture of him screaming at Fozzie while I try to hide this from my ICT teacher.

Shaa-zaa!!

Oh boy. I don't remember much from today, so here goes.

Those who went on the Battlefields trip (up in good old Belgium) have come back. That consists of Jonesy, Sophie, Hannah (THE STEALER!! ...ha), Alice, and of course, Fred, who I expect will be writing up about the yellow Quagaar-chicken in her blog. Jonesy gave me a 'little' something. A bunch of Belgian chocolates. When I told her about near-death experiences, she was like, "...Oh. Well, it's the thought that counts!" A informed her that the only thought I could see from her was that she wanted to kill me. I ate them anyway.

Oh yes, some random person who doesn't know me and never will do and yet thinks she has the right to judge me. While fetching the cello of mine, I've always been told just to go in, grab the instument, and get out, and that's what I did. However the teacher inside there stopped me and said how I was very rude to follow what I've been told, and in future I should knock. Is she always like this? The kid she was tutoring wasn't even playing!! I just wanted to say "Oh, f*ck you," and head out. What can she do about it? She doesn't know me, and never will. Does she automatically assume that all people she comes in contact with are highly unintelligent and are lower life forms to her? Oh, the arrogance.
And now I'm using the same pictures over and over again. Whee-hee!!

And yet, MORE people who don't know me judge me before I say a word, or do anything. 2 sixth-formers passed me, and stared at me, making 'comments' which were made clearly obvious they were talking about me. I walked behind them, and yet they have the f*cking cheek to look behind them and glare at me, look back, and repeat. Because they're older, it does not give them the right to judge people before they get to know them. It does not give them the right to comment on anyone at all, as I'm sure people like that always do. I'm not judging them before I know them, I'm just going by my experiences. People who spread rumors or spread gossip or just comment on people for the sake of having nothing better to do should be speared through the head, and collected on a giant kebab which is suspended in the air for all the innocents to see.

But I'm sure you have your own theory.

I'm back. And alive. For now. I love sugar, but it hates me. It wants to kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill me. Ah, cocoa. You're my only friend now. AAAAAAAAARGH!!! You have 2 teaspoons of sugar in you!! I'm going to see through time again... Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee... OK, OK, 'seeing through time' is what I call when my head and limbs go funny after consuming sugar. I don't really see through time. Or, at least, I don't think I do. ....What? Napoleon is dead??????

Thankfully I didn't black out today. But I might do now. I don't know. Today went rather surprisingly well. I don't think that was grammatically correct, but hey. But I'm still pondering about my blacking out yesterday... WTF happened????? In fact, I almost, heh, fell asleep on the bus, so that could've been another ticket to the blackout train. Metaphor time! Buuuuut, yeah. What did happen? When I 'awoke', if that's what I can call it, it was like... a tug of war between you and someone exactly the same strength... then they suddenly let go. That's what it's like. WTF HAPPENED????? I wasn't even tired. I am so confused, and kinda scared inside. But I'm alive now, and so, meh. Although, I'd like to go in a coma for a few months, just to see what it's like... Eck, I'm tingling again. GODDAMN MY NAVEL ITCHES!! (Happy Noodle Boy, heh.) All day, I've been telling myself, "I'm not diabetic, it's all in my head. I'm not diabetic, it's all in my head... Whee, tingly fingers, I'm going to fall over!...I'm not diabetic, it's all in my head." But, it's not really working. Reverse psychology doesn't work on the brain. It's too smart for you. I have a strange, strange WANT to grab my pancreas and suck out all the insulin that's left. Just like a flannel. Yay! Flannel! That word is strange. But, I think I'm starting to snap more at people. Ignore the snapping. Another side affect. (Boy, my Dad has it bad.)

Dying... will be fun.

Random note before I go off and die, I found a mood displayer for blogs. I will be shoving it on the sidebar. Cool, no? NO?? I got it at http://www.moodsmilies.com/ , in case you want to follow in my footsteps and steal my ideas. Nah, go on, enjoy yourself with a mood.

Dear lord, this is worse than goth poetry... XP (It's a quote!!!!)

Oh no! Zim's being abducted by aliens!! Wait a minute...

I'm at skool again. And I'm meant to be working. However, how can I work? I've pretty much completed my database. Plus, we're meant to be making websites in Dreamweaver, but on these computers it quite literally does not exsist. So therefore, there was no point in coming to ICT anyway. But we're made to. So, that's why I'm here. Typing nonsense. Was in Engrish, where the legend teacher (legend as in a f*cking amazing teacher, not legend as in I fantasize about him on the beach wearing a thong........Ugh.) let us go on laptops, to write up on Romeo and Juliet. However he himself didn't work, he was describing how good his score is on pinball. I spent most of the lessons (double lesson, you see) drawing Jem. Again and again and again. Yeah. Then I messed around with the stylus. FUN FUN FUN.

Let's not let all these pictures I collected for my ICT website go to waste. Have a picture of a bat.

Despite what some people may say, bats are incredibly cute. They're like hamsters with wings. No thoughts for the experimental people here... Don't you dare try it. It'll leave a mess, and you don't want to clean it up, do you? Anyway, my theory is that bats evolved from hamsters. They show a 'relation' to hamsters, anyway:

• Same kind of fur
• Same kind of ears (thin and floppy things)
• Are quite blind
• Can hear exceptionally well
• Come on, they look simalar, don't they?

So, that's my theory. Note: MY theory. Not yours. Sure, you can agree with it, but it's my theory. I thought it up. But no one so far's believed me.

I think I'm going to become near-death again, like yesterday. There's nothing to eat that I like in the canteen, so chocolate it is. The pancreas is evil and must be punished. (Am I right in saying that I got that quote from Fred?) So, this pancreas is probably living on its last... um... veins and arteries? Does blood even flow there? It probably does. Or maybe my pancreas is already dead. I think it may still be alive, but yesterday it JUST saved my life... or not. If it did, I must reward it something. My reward for my pancreas is chocolate.

I'M OK!!!!! THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!!!!!! However, many of the lurkers of the locker area were possessed to think that I was going to die.

Well, it all started (Holy crap, I sound like TinTin!!) when I ate a chocolate bar. Galaxy, may I add. Yay! But then the effects of my pancreas dying on me started taking place. Again. So I couldn't feel or move my legs very well. My feet and fingers were tingling. I just felt like lying on the floor and not move. I wish I never said anything, though. For Nikki, Becky, and Charlie started fussing about how I was going to die a horrible horrible death if I didn't go to the MI room (First aid room, medical room, whatever you want to call it) NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW. But, I refused. Dying is fine. Yay! Death! And besides, what's the point going there? They can do nothing. NOOOOOTHING. What can they do? Nothing. Say it with me: NOTHING!! Yeah. So, they threatened to get someone to GET ME. So I scowled it off. But Becky and Charlie went off, still threatening to get someone, while Nikki tried to wrestle me down. I managed to be let go of, and so walked off triumphantly, in a kind of drunken with sugar way.

However, as I was walking off slowly, I saw Charlie coming my way, with 2 women. She pointed at me. The women stared at me. I wanted to run, but, eh, didn't feel like it. Besides, maybe she wasn't going to target me? I was wrong. One rushed towards me, using the councilor, "Are you OK?" speech on me. I did a Zim-like, "I'm fine. Leave me alone," speech to her, and walked off. Soon enough, another woman ran to me (down the corridor, she was calling to me, "Emily," [I hate my name!!] "Emily, EMILY," until it was a demanding, "EMILLLLLLLYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!") and asked the same thing again. I was as sarcastically mean as I could be. These people have no right in my affairs! You know, that's always sounded wrong to me... So she walked off, and I continued to the classroom. Thanks to Charlie, now the councilor-receptionists think I'm terminally ill or something. Maybe I am, but I don't give a f*ck. I entered the classroom, and everyone (my 'friends', this is) started saying how stupid I am for not going to the MI room. Therefore, they did not want to talk to me. I was content sitting there tingling away. Wheeee-heeeeee, tingling!!

So then, next lesson. That was biology for me. But soon enough, my head started drooping, and I found myself spawled out on the desk. Jade, beside me, must have thought that biology must be SOOOOOO boring for me, as she laughed. So I lay there. Not moving much, just twitching and flopping my hands about every now and then. I tingled more and more, until it was just so goddamn painful!! I was lying quietly there. Note that I myself was not tired, but my limbs were. They were so very tired. I looked at the clock. 5 minutes to 3. I lay there still. Suddenly, I see black for a split second, then find myself jerking back upright. The tingling had stopped. I was thirsty and needed the bathroom again, but my limbs weren't tired anymore. What time was it? 3pm. What the heck happened?? If you saw the look on my face, you would've thought someone had stolen all my easter eggs. Heh. But what happened in those 5 minutes?? Did I just fall asleep? Lose COMPLETE lack of time? Or was it... more like... a coma?? Well cool! I don't know what happened to me!! Whooooooooo!! I'm gonna try it again tomorrow!

Oh boy. For the last two days I've been going on HomeStar Runner. I used to go on it a lot. I fear I will do so again. I usually go there for the games, and for TEEN GIRL SQUAD!!! Sorry, but I really like Teen Girl Squad (it's under toons). It takes the p1ss outta plastics (Cheerleader, So and So, What's her face, the Ugly oneeee!!). That is good. And my favorite game there is Stinkoman. That game 0wns. I can play it for hours. And I have.

Moving swiftly on, crud I did yesterday. Erm. Yeah. Saw some BLACK BOOOOOOOOOOTS BLACK BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS BLACK BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS!!!!! What? I want black boots. Then I'll look like Dib!! Wow, man, I'm sad! I don't even wear glasses or have exentrically black spikey hair. But, eh. Problem is, the boots that fit wouldn't go around my legs. Too much muscle *Laughs nervously*. And the ones that fit around my legs were too big. So I am suicidally sad. Because I didn't get boots. Mmmmmmyep. Mom asked if I was 'Turning goth'... I didn't answer. How long have I been wearing black, been interested in death, black comedy/horror and liked Invader Zim, wanted purple hair (heh. Purple's a nice color.), and liked other gothic interests (too many to say)? And yet I did not feel the need to answer. I just said, "Shaddup," and carried on. But I had a MIGHTY NEED to use the bathroom, so that would explain the crankyness. Speaking of which, I have a MIGHTY NEED now, but I cannot be bothered. Apparently, if you think of s*x, you don't need the bathroom. Goddamn this as*xualness!! Maybe it's a good thing, though? ENOUGH.

But, while I was scouring the land for something to doooooooo (in Poole, there's not much to do, except shop... shop... shop... shop... shop some more... ooh, there's a gym!...shop... you get the idea. But yeah, my Mom was dragging me into clothes shops. REPUTATION RUINING TIME!!!!!!! Plastics from my skool were lurking around. I didn't want them to think I was enjoying it, which I was NOT. Whether their short attention spans were noticing me or not (which I don't think they were), I didn't want to take chances, and tried to hide. F*ck them, anyway. Aheh. But, I really, really don't get it. People stared and laughed at me, AGAIN, but this time, I saw no reason to. Maybe they ran out of things to laugh at. GO BUY MONTY PYTHON!!! But yeah, I don't actually understand. There was one little girl, who was walking in front of me. She kept looking back at me, with a 'look' on her face. This look... it was like a 'Don't rape me!!!!!' kind of look. Then she ran off when she saw her Mommy. ("Mommy, mommy, a girl with blonde hair, wearing black, was going to RAPE ME!!! I know she was!! Because she was wearing black! I just know it!! I like muffins!!") I was just so confused. Then, some low-life girl pointed at me in front of her many boyfriends. She was grinning. She and her many gitfaces followed me around. I ALMOST, ALMOST stuck my middle finger up, with a p1ssed-off Nny look. However, I've done that before to some starers before, and they just laughed preeeeeetty hard. They were dyed-blonde plastics. I wanted to yank out their hair... But that was a long time ago. I wish I did, actually............ Probably would've been kicked out of Burger King forever, though. Which isn't so bad, because I abhor MacDonalds, Burger King, and KFC. Subway rocks!! There are many subjects here.

OK, first I'd like to start with a video clip. Someone on i-a-b/yt brought up the subject of politician R. Budd Dwyer getting shot in the head on live television. Being the horrible gruesome little sh1t I am, I searched and searched for this video clip. And now I present it to you. http://www.llamas.org/multimedia/bwdwyer.mov (best if you open it in a new window). OK, I have to say, this guy bleeds a lot. There's a lot of screaming and cursing in the background. And it's in black and white. So, watch at your own risk. Actually, I didn't find it that bad. So, if you open it and while it's loading, you dread that you'll be freaked out of your mind for the next 17 years (like I did, heh.), then I have to admit that it's not that bad.

MOVING ON, the art mock exam continued. I had finished in 1 hour. So, 4 hours to go. I was planning on doing a Vampeep comic in my so-muchly spare time, as I have not done one for over a f*cking month!! ARGH! But when I was deciding if I should/n't, the teacher was looking at what everyone was doing, and other finished examinees (heh) were looking at what everyone else was doing for they had nothing better to do. So I decided not to. But I will do the comic in a bit, I promise promise promise promise promise promise promise promise who am I promising to? And so, after 4 hours, my 'work' was hung on the wall. Amongst everyone else's. It looked like such an oddball amongst them all. Crap.

Well, more stufffffff. OK, I was meant to say this some time ago, but never got 'round to it. Some gittish person has been going around stealing valualable (heh, intentensional spelling) items in my locker area. They've stolen shoes, clothes, bank cards, and moneys (some moneys up to £20!). And for once, it wasn't me. *cough* I swear! I wouldn't steal clothes and shoes! I have no need for them... And I didn't steal the moneys. I wouldn't steal moneys that high. I bet you're wondering why I'm saying 'moneys' and not 'money'... Invader Zim fan!! *Sticks out tongue like Gir* The biggest robbery was during a fire drill we had a couple of days ago. No one was reported missing, to my knowledge anyway, and due to the students pouring out, they wouldn't be able to get in, or do it without being seen. Maybe the fire 'drill' was a set up? Cleverly done-ded? I hope this b1tch is found, because they must think they're so high and mighty for STEALING. I know a couple of druggies/smokers, and one recently gave up... Could it be them? Or a plastic who just wanted to prove to her boyfriend how amazingly daring she can be? *Screams in a Harry Hill type way* There's only one way to find out... FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!! *cough* OK.

Actually, I feel like playing Theme Hospital now. Vampeep later! Heck, that's what I've been telling myself all month... Maybe I can do a comic at about 1am like I usually do?

I'm sorry, I just love that incredibly weird picture of Zim when he stole the skool kid's organs... And he has head pigeons. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmyup.

Look! Look! Dib's an alien too!! OK, he's not, it's just that... ugh, it's too complicated to explain.

And yes, I know I haven't updated for some time. I literally haven't had any time for going on the computer. Art... project... no no no time. I had to...heh... do the whole of my art project over the last few days. I still don't have much in that art book of mine. And the art mock exam was today and tomorrow. OK, the mock... It was pointless. We were all sitting, side by side, at the tables, everyone glancing at what everyone else was doing. It made me paranoid. People...staring... so unnerving! But I carried on, anyway, while the loser humans with no life or attention span glared at every move I made. In fact, in the end, despite the 10 hours I have (5 today, 5 tomorrow), I finished after 3. Then I just messed around with the sky for the next 2 hours. By the way, my picture was of some street... in the form of fauvism. Yeah. But there was one person, I'm not saying who, because I don't know her name, whose painting was ABSOLUTELY ATTROCIOUS (sp? I never care. I'm an irken invader! I'm always right! *cough*). I hate to say that, really I do, but I'm the sort of person to say my opinion, as my opinion (if that... makes any sence...). BUT HER PICTURE!! GAH!! A horrible pink sky, for starters, and not even pink... it was more red and was painful to look at. Even the teacher had to... 'lecture' her on how to get color right. The girl refused to change her red-pink sky, because she loved it so. A failure in our midst. And now I have tomorrow to do nothing! Yay! Nothing!

Things that have happened, anyway... Ah yes! The excrutiatingly pointless 2km walk. As the name implies, it is an excruciatingly pointless 2km walk. In PE. Well, we planned to sing 'Bohemian Rhapsody' the way 'round, but after getting nowhere, gave up that idea. By 'we' I mean, I, Jonesy, and Hannah. However, they went on ahead and I was left at the back. I would have been quicker, oh yes, but I ate a chocolate bar beforehand, and so my sugar intolerance (I am not allowed to say 'di*betes', so I now call it sugar intolerance) kicked in. So I was so tired and helpless. I explained to the teacher as I went past, that I couldn't feel my legs or my arms, but she just laughed it off, and told me not to be so silly. Why was I ignored? I was being serious! I was plotting on falling over dramatically and pretending to have fainted. However, I never did. Boo.

Ooh, and here's something that I just 'made':http://www.tedheads.com/index.htm?id=4351 . Well, I added the faces. It's really demented, and I don't suggest you view it! It's a music video between Gir and Zim... and it's really quite scary, but it works so well! I'm so scared...

That is the end, I guess. But now I am not allowed to eat tea, despite the mock exam and things. Just because my brother remarked about how he disliked his food, and my Mom stormed out. So only I am not allowed to eat, and must wait for tomorrow to get something in my belllllllllllly. I am the family scapegoat, and am known for that. Please, blame me for the world exsisting. Blame me for that food poisoning you had. Blame me for you and your best friend splitting up, even if it was before I was born! I am used to the blaminess. Start your blaming now.

I was meant to be doing more Art work. I still can't be bothered. OK, it's because I tried a chalk-pastel-thing picture, and it went horribly wrong. I dare not work on it again. And yet it would go everywhere if I were to turn the page.

SOOOOOOOO I was to go to Hobbycraft to get these chalk-pastel-things before I did the picture, obviously. So, I found some, and went off to find Dad. Where the f*ck was he? Or my brother? Holy crap. Lost 'em. So I go everywhere, 3 times over, and wait near the door. I had an urgent NEEEED to use the bathroom (In the end I had to wait until I got home). Soon, I managed to find them. I had been waiting at the front for them, and they were waiting at the back for me. But then, we had to go and get some hamster food. Penfold had no food. Food food food. So, we got some. I was told to go to the car, and so I did. Unfortunately, I was at the car, but no keys were supplied. I sat on the ground, in front of the car. 2 middle-aged women walked past and pointed and laughed at me. I was soooooo tempted to shout, "What the f*ck do you want?? Never seen someone wait before? You f*cking retards." Instead I just glared daggers. Later, a couple of... uh, how can I put this? 'Retards' is too mean... 'Disabled' people with their helpers walked past. The first one, was just... mmm. It looked like she was wearing her PJs, but I didn't look too much in case I was thought to stare. The next one was an obvious down syndrome sufferer. She... at least I was told it was a she... grunted like a drunken monkey on crack. And very loud too. I'm trying not to take the p1ss here, for any people who are highly offended, I'm just describing the scene. Try not to hate me and my descriptions too much. Anyway, she scared me, as I had horrible visions of her jumping on me and ripping my hair out and gouging my eyes out and... yeah. And her helper scared me too. "Yes! Look! They're two objects! Now do you want to see the pretty flowers? Yes? You do? OK then..." I don't actually understand how she got "two objects" and "yes" out of, "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh."

But this has made me realise... OK, well, no real attention was brought to these two 'disabled' people. No one stared, laughed, or any other negative response was brought to them. However, I sit on the ground, and suddenly it's legal to laugh at someone sitting on the ground. But you're not meant to laugh or stare at 'disabled' people. Oh no. How dare you even think about staring at them?? It's OK to laugh at us 'normals'. (Notice the apostrophes? Don't kill me, please.) It's like that thing my Dad keeps on telling me... Disabled people and people like that demand the right to be just like us, and have all the rights we have. However, they also want the rights they originally had as well, making it unfair and more 'superior', in a way, to us. Mmm, please don't post threatening comments. I'm trying to make this sound as 'nice' as possible, and it's not easy.

More news? Ugh, OK. Jhonen hasn't replied yet, sob sob. Maybe the email just freaked him out. Hell, what if I've KILLED HIM??? Uh, in more JV-related news, have a music video summarising JTHM: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/274026 . It's quite weird, but I like it. Plus, it has swear words, just like in the real comic book! Yeah!

ARGH I'm drooling all down myself, for I am eating oreos. And a nice hello to you too. Problem is, them oreos (and basically anything with sugar in them) are making me tired, and usually making me feel weirdly ill. The parents say it's the diabetes... I say "F*ck you," to that, and continue eating them 'till I'm lying on the floor in a jelly-like manor.

I've been trying to get onto blogger for AGES. Literally, hours. Something was wrong with blogger, but don't worry, I'm here now. *Insert demented Nny grin here*

As you can tell, I survived Business Studies. I made it out alive! And it was pretty easy. When I entered, they (Melissa and Georgina) glared at me, like they were dressed in 80s wear, and I in the new fashion (best example I could use, and it was still crap. Please understand my metaphorical speaking). It looked like they were going to turn on me during 'break'... so I avoided eye contact at... most times. Heh. But after 30 minutes of this uneasiness, Mrs Salt, our year leader-thing, asked for them to see her outside the classroom. There was relief in me... but at the same time, the thought "SH1111111111111111111T" ran through there also. Did Fred tell Mrs Salt before me...? I was gonna tell her if the situation got worse. As they walked out, they stared at me, and I kept my head DOOOOOWN. I almost sniggered madly when they went. I love people in trouble. I guess that's just... normal for people. But still, they were gone. After 15 minutes, Melissa came in. Crying. Crud, what's going on...? 5 minutes after that, Georgina came in, with a sort of, "OH MY GOD" look on her face. They were there for 10 minutes, then left for the bathroom. And never came back.

I was later told the 'lecture' was about... smoking and nicotine patches! Holy crap! That would explain a lot! But still, they've gone through enough. I'll squeal on them later.

But still, there was... the salsa.

The horrible dancing! I had heard so much about it beforehand. And I was dreading it so much. I told everyone, "I'm not going to do it. It's sick. Pairing girls with girls for close dancing! It's just perverted! Stalin did the same with the government! They're just malevolent dictators in this skool!" And I stuck with that. So when we were there, the twisted teacher approached me and my partner when she noticed we weren't dancing. My partner (Alice, aka The Phantom Alice) explained I didn't want to dance. The teacher b1tched about that I had this AMAZING chance to dance the salsa. In the end, I had to dance, but not 'touch' each other (I have explained the evilness of 'touching' before). So, we just danced like penguins. Oh and, did I mention, Jonesy burst into tears again? However, this time, I had no idea as to what the reason was. I will have to hound her about that next week. ANYWAY, so there we were, dancing like penguins. Plastics asked me why I refused to dance 'properly'. I just said, "No physical contact." As they do, they laughed. Those blind things.

I'm glad today's more or less over.

Damn, I'm on a skool computer. I have no Invader Zim pictures on my skoolfiles or on my memory stick. That sucks.

Yep, I'm in ICT. I have nothing else to do. Besides, if the teacher were to catch me, how can he punish me? There's an exam of some sort going on in here (gladly I'm not a participant in this exam), so we can't speak.

But I have art next, and I'm so f*cked. Why, you might say? *Might.* Because, ehergh, I have a deadline of 1 week for doing my art work. A whole project. And I haven't even finished 1 piece of art work yet. I am....... so dead. How dead am I? Very.

And I need the bathroom pretty bad. There's 20 minutes left.

And I have nothing else to say. What can I say now? Erm... It's just too quiet now. I hear lots of people typing, and some mumbling. This is making me nervous... I look around. I think some people are actually working. Man, this sucks.

Fred's sending me an email. But as she is sitting next to me, I can just read it as she types it. Shockingness... After Art I have business studies. With Georgina Howlett and Melissa Fitzsimmons. And I am so screwed and p1ssed off. Remember the b1tch fight? Well, George told Fred that 'her people' told her that she was called a b1tch by us. (Actually, I didn't say it, Fred did XP) And she said something about me being Fred's 'gay little friend'. I am not gay, no way am I gay. Am I gay? No way, jose. (That's pronounced ho-say, by the way.) I am as*xual, not gay. She is undereducated. What should I do? Confront the gay b1tch? Ignore her? Or jump on her head and shout Happy Noodle Boy sayings down her ear? Mind you, she'd probably confront me first. If she doesn't, I'm still gonna scream at her.

I AM NOT GAY!!

Don't worry. Sometimes I go through these random times, where I think I'm the most amazing person ever (not... that amazing, but you get the idea) and I'm glad to know myself, and then where I hate my guts and wish I was someone else, and just am filled with regret. Right now it's self-loathing. Nah, I'm not depressed, just kicking my own a$$ for being so damned stupid. Strangely enough, the self-loathing is usually (and in this case) triggered by seeing drawings I did. DAMN, I'm such a retard for thinking my drawings could be called 'art'!!

But never mind about that. *claps hands together and does a Dib-like smile*

Ugh, today today today. OK, well, I left my biology folder in the middle of nowhere. Oops. If anyone finds it, they're in for a shock, because most pieces of paper are not filed in. Also, my maffths work-book is randomly in the HUM block. I'm scared that someone might take the maffths book that I stole (oops... ah, what the hell. Yes, I 'took' it, because no one else claimed it.) and the cool blue plastic bag that came with it!! They can keep the biology folder.


Oh and, by the way, I've just made a random picture. It's really, really, really, really sh1t. What was I smoking?? But at least, it's not that bad, seeing as the background I made from *almost* scratch. You can see it from here, but click to enlarge, of course.









OK, more on today... ugh... Myes! OK, well, some random people and I were standing outside my classroom at lunchtime. A lesson was taking place in there, so we had nothing better to do, but stand there, doing nothing. 2 of the random people shared crisps, and so got an electric shock, emitting a loud scream. The look on our faces... it read the same thing to everyone there: "Leggit"... so we ran down the corridor, and our headteacher came out of the classroom, screaming, "DO YOU MIND?? SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO WORK IN HERE!!!!!" We just continued running. I had the severe urge to poke my head 'round the corridor, and scream back at her, "F*CK YOOOOOOOOOUUUUU," and run away again, so I wouldn't be spotted. Unfortunately, I didn't. She's a fat b1tch anyway.

Damn, I have nothing to ramble on about today. I guess this has to be shorter than my other previous posts.

[EDIT - 5000 000 000 years later... or just 2 hours later] Fred, I am no smeghead. I was already making banners for my blog weeks ago. Plus, I don't steal ideas. At least, I don't plagorize. (sp? WTF) Here is your advert for your blog, I wasn't sure if you wanted me to put it on here. So forgive me and shut up. (JTHM QUOTE!! Honest! Don't take it that way, haha). And maybe... my advert... could be on... yours? *Smiles malevolently, then laughs megalomaniacally*

*cough*

Sometimes...
You can cry until there is nothing wet in you.
You can scream and curse to where your throat rebels and ruptures.
You can pray, all you want, to whatever god you think will listen.
And, still, it makes NO difference.
It goes on, with no sign as to when it might release you.

And you never know that if it ever did relent...

It would not be because it cared.

OK, that quote up there has nothing to do with the reflection of my mood, nor any significance to today's happenings. Honest. I just thought it might be a nice JTHM quote... or not, as the case may be. Speaking of JTHM, have a nice remastered comic - http://www.704d.com/bob/jthm/jthm5/jthm5.jpg . It's my fav JTHM comic! Yay! *cough*

Lots of things have happened today. Let's see... how did it start? OK, well, there was a rugby tournament, or something. Little kids ran around in striped jumpers, while 'senior' people charged at them. Three of my friends, Evil, Alice, and Jonesy, attended this mindless (but fun) sport, but Jonesy just helped. So they were absent. Well, Jonesy came back...

I was surprised she came back, but what the hell. Soon was breaktime, and yet again plastics obstructed the exit. I pushed past, and made my escape. I live again! So I went up to maffths. And while I was there, since it is at the top of the whole skool (loads of stairs), I looked down on 'My world'. There are two things I love doing in this world (apart from going on random walks where I get totally lost): Looking down on high-up views, and the stars. I love the stars. And the moon. But it's quite sad that I love the stars, however know only two constellations - the seven sisters (duh), and Orion. I always scream 'ORION' whenever I see it. I also know what the eye of Taurus looks like (it's... just one star... a reddish one), but don't know where it is in the sky. I like looking at the stars. They're so far away, yet look so near...
OK, this marks where I stop rambling about the stars. WELL, I was looking over 'My world', when Jonesy comes in, not looking... very happy. I ask her wtf was wrong, but she just made some noise, and some hand gesture (not middle or two fingers), indicating, "Go f*ck yourself, I ain't telling you." So, there, I left her alone. But when the Maffths teacher started talking, Jonesy just exploded like a volcano. A very wet volcano. And she was 'allowed' to go out of the classroom. When all eyes watched her leave, I was told to follow. The only thing that came into my mind was, "SH1T!! NOT ME!! WHY ME??" No, I'm not saying I didn't want to be with a crying Jonesy, and try to make it all better, I'm saying... let's just say I'm not the best comforter in the world. I just wanted to be left out of this. It's bad enough that Jonesy was crying, but if I was there with her, trying as hard as I could to stop her crying, she'd probably want to run and jump out of a window, while slitting her throat, after swallowing some cyanide. So, I got up, and I almost fell over. Yeah, I was concerned for Jonesy's outburst, and it bloody well showed, I can tell you. So after attempting to get out of the door without my legs giving way, leaving me in a mess rolling all over the carpet, I met the soaking Jonesy by the door. She told me what had happened. OK, well, she plays rugby. However, she was not playing in the tournement. But, instead, she wanted to help. But the malicious robot Mrs Edwards, snarled at her, in her high-pitched way, which is as unlevel as a boy's with a breaking voice, saying she could not help out. She had to go back to classes, while all her (other) friends were running on the field, breaking their necks without her. So I went with her to get a drink, while missing Maffths. Whee-hee. So, she got her drink. But, two people gave her hugs. It pained me. I flattened myself against the lockers. I hate...the...hugging! So, we went out again. But, I randomly saw some...black thing, shuffling across the ground. A very small black thing... I ran up to it, and Jonesy told me it was a mole. I denied this, and said it was an eyeless hamster. After making it jump over my shoe a few times, I left it alone and all was well.

Or was it...?

So, instead of lunch fun (sounds so wrong.), I had to revise for a history test. Again. I was given the answers, and what I needed to revise. So I went on and revised, and revised, while Fred talked about... I forget. A lot of topics appear in our conversations. In case you weren't wondering, it was on McCarthy. I pronounce it "Mc-Car-thee", making horrible sharp clicking noises at the Cs. McCarthy... and communism hating... and how he was such an accusing b@stard, and... Mmmyeah.

So, there was the history test. But as she wrote the questions on the board... Holy crap! They were different questions to the 'hints'!! Damn, I can do it, I can do it... However, I rather used my writing paper as a handtowel, for I was sweating blue lights (Need to know what this ACTUALLY means...) all over it. Everyone else seemed to be going on fine, while my pen suddenly broke. I only had 8... excuse me, for then I had about 6 minutes left to write. I wrote down everything that came to my mind, excluding, "CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP", for that would look bad on my test. Soon, I ran out of ideas, just in time for the end of the test. I looked around. I appeared to have written more than most... but that might have been because I was writing drivel, I just plainly write big, or because of the need for speed, I rushed and scrawled all over the page. But Fred was rather... p1ssed off because just as she was going to write the best bit, she ran out of time. 8 minutes is not enough.

I'm glad it's over. I just dread the result.

I'm claustrophobic. I also have a fear of being 'touched' by people (yes, that explains why I refuse to hug anyone). You can start to see the relevance of this information. Or maybe not. I will explain slooooooowly and fully.

Well, for some reason, people had decided to flock around me particularly today. I think... this morning? Or was it yesterday? This morning, I think. Anyway, I think this morning people tried to hug me. I slipped out of their attacks and ran off screaming. Why does everyone want to hug me? What the hell is wrong with these people?? I hate hugging! I hate holding hands! I hate kissing! F*ck, I pretty much abhor every kind of physical contact! I say pretty much, because fighting's OK. Tackle me in the street and kick me into a busy road for all I care. Ack, but, back onto hugging and all that. Why do people do it? I don't understand. I really don't. In fact, I'm not even sure why I hate hugging etc. I guess... it's just seeing all the plastics hug. It makes me wanna vomit violently out of every orifice. Especially the 'Goodbye, see you in 5 minutes' kiss. That just makes me wanna spontaniously combust on the spot. Another thing I strangely hate, which I don't know the reason to (other than sleeping), is listening to music in the presence of others. I really don't understand my rusty clockwork brain.

But, still, everyone was in my way! People, everywhere, what the f*ck is this? Block-a-Bob day?? Mainly plastics were obstructing my path. Well, I mean, they block me everyday, but today was probably the worst case. They quite literally stood in front of the door, for the way out of the locker area. And you know what they were doing? Applying make up, listening to music, and dancing. In a more-or-less 2 metres wide corridor. They could go outside and do that! Go into a bigger classroom! Go dance on a newly-polished surface! WHY in a tiny, cramped, malevolently small locker area?? What drugs are they taking??! The sad thing is, you realise this is going to be their life. It sickens me. So very sickens me. And in the presence of the me! How dare they?? (*cough*) I want to destroy all those who like to 'touch' their friends. Oh, boy, gimmie a break! I'm trying hard enough to stop this sounding dodgy as it is! But still, I hate it. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT. And I hate all those who desire to hug me (you'd be surprised). Time for a JTHM quote:


OK, a little over the top, but you get my point. "All seek to enslave you" - in my life this is correct. All my friends sometimes decide to have a 'TellyTubby hug' with me in the middle. They are out to traumatise me.
0% bandwidth availability, here I come! But, I enjoy people just being there. I have eyes, I am not blind, I do not need to touch to know about someone's presence. Has my point been proven? I'll still carry on. The only times I've ever hugged someone out of my family (these days I don't even hug anyone in my family), is saying 'Goodbye (forever)' to a friend, because I was going to a seperate skool (the one I'm in now), and in a play, where I was a sweet little girl who lost her toy dog (wtf were the playwrites [plastics] on??). I apparently suited the part for I am 4'10"... enough of that subject. I have never held hands or kissed anyone outside my family. EVER. How do these people live?? I guess, the question runs through the plastics' minds about me. Heh. It's quite good to feel... different. Different. Unique. One-of-a-kind. For my aim in this life filled with a$$holes who pump themselves full of sh1t, is to stop the female stereotype. I have not yet succeeded, but I will continue to endeavour to get my point across. My point? "You... GIRLS!! You give the female gender a bad name! With all your make up and boys and... hugging... it makes me think you're trying to destroy our reputation! How can you live like this?? Why is it that you feel so rejected after f*cking a boy, then dumping him? Make up? Deary me, this is a girl's skool, for crying out loud!! Who the hell do you think you're gonna pick up tonight?? This shows how low your self esteem is!! And what's with kissing other girls? I thought hugging each other was bad, but... won't your d1ldos (aka boyfriends) be jealous? Don't you even stop to think about how soppy and girly you look?? You make me want to swallow cyanide!! And do you know how rediculous you look?? You sicken me to the point of decomposing in a heap of deadiness."

How did we get to this topic again?

That is a Robin Hood-type lemming. Now I will write this entry in plastic-speak until I get disgusted with myself. Ahem...

Right, so, like, today, i like, missed anotha 2 art lessons! OMG, i know! It's so, like, weird, Ive missd 4 art lessons in a row! lol rotflmao haha. So I totally did nothin all lesson, coz the art teacher was doin some art exams for the year 11s, like. So we had 2 substitute teachers, and that's y i did nothin. Actually, FYI, i did do something. i made a Vampeep-themed notebook, and ma friends think its cool. Aw, thanks guys! x Mwaa x

*back in reality* That was horrible. That 'x Mwaa x' at the end has disturbed myself. And all the spelling and grammatical errors! So horrible! On with plastic speak. Let's see how low I can go.

Also, right, i like, gave in my Vampeep comic, so it can be published and stuff. Nikki, you'd better have given that comic in and shown my notebook to Miss Prestidge! Grr! lol, love ya really! *back in reality - no I do not* But, like, i spent all my time gettin it all nice for Miss Prestidge. Ooh, i hope she publishes for me! ^_^

*back in reality* Eck, that was not a very good plastic speak paragraph. Not enough love and 'like's. And I've already put a sidenote for the 'love ya really' bit! This is getting to be so verilly funny. I will continue to take the p1ss outta these dumbsh1ts.

OMG, I had a b1tch fight with some b1tch today! She was soooooooo much a cow! OMG, she was like, "You bad-mouthin mah friend? You bad-mouthin mah friend?" Only coz Fred called a girl called Georgina Howlett a b1tch. And, OMG, Georgina is one. She like, spat on Bella's face once (Bella's a quite nice 'n' popular girl). She is such a cow. And like, the girl who was eavesdroppin on OUR conversation, Melissa Fitzsimmons, was like, being such a cow. She was like, "B1tching is SOOOOOOO 5th year," so I said, "Is that y u do it all the time, then?" She was, like, so confused, the b1tch. I think me and Fred won the argument, yay! lol -_^

*back in reality* That was basically the main reason why I decided to speak in plastic language. I detest plastics like that, bad-mouthing people, and when someone bad-mouths them, they think it is unfair, and cloud out all memory of ever doing wrong. You know something? The whole situation reminds me so much of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.
Eh, not the best picture to use, and I've used it once before, but as you can tell, it's one of my favorite quotes. From my favorite comic from my second favorite issue. ANYWAY, I would've used one from the comic in issue 2, where there's the pretty girl in a straightjacket. Or one of the ones from the first comic in issue 3. However, I couldn't find these mysitcal pictures of mystical mystic! (Mystic?) Ooh, here's a pretty good one:

Yup, I guess that's a better one. It explains the plastics' personality. However, some, some, plastics are good. Two plastics came over to us after the fight to apologize for them. Some are good. ...but everytime I look at that picture there^, I feel sorry for Nny. Sorry... probably because I know what it's like to be laughed at by random strangers in the street. I know what it's like to fear going outside, fear of what will happen to you. Fear of how much lower your self esteem will go. I spent nearly half a year refusing to go outside, other than to go to skool. People would stare, all ages, at me, and even old ladies laughed. Teenagers were the worst, of course. They would laugh at me, swear at me, and I think one even threw stuff at me. When you're told to ignore it, you realise that there's no point in it. They're always going to be there, the world population laughing at you. No one to turn to - everyone's laughing. This happened for about 2 years, until the 'problem' was sorted out. In fact, I still fear going outside. I still get stared at sometimes, but I haven't heard any laughter recently. Why is the world like this? Is it a case of, "You're not my friend! I'm only nice to my friends! Therefore... must be evil!" Or is there... something more serious?

I hate plastics. I really do.

Love ya all! xXx

...Not really.