Dear Die-ary...

... but we love like him anyway.

You're probably sick of these Iznogoud-related posts. But I must protest - people come up to me, and they're like, "Oh, a comic book? Isn't that a bit childish? I mean, isn't it for kids?" In reply, I'm like... "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DIE NO NO NO NO!!" And so the war goes on.

Anyway, so I'm dedicating this post for 3 good reasons why it's not (just) for kids. Note: All of these reasons include sexual innuendoes of some kind. And worse.

We start off with Iznogoud et les femmes. Despite its name (Iznogoud and the women), it only has one reference to naughtiness (that I can see). I'd get a picture but, you know, apathy prevents. This reference is something like... Ooh, Sultan Pullmankar says something like, "My child, take off your clothes for me! I want to be the only one to see you naked!" You may be thinking, "Well, that's not too bad..." but this is just the starting point. I haven't got onto the list yet. This one's just the first appearance (I think) of anything of this kind.

Now onto the list. (In order of year published)

#1 - Isnoguds Komplize
(Name in german - dunno the french version.) I know I've mentioned this one a lot, but it's simply brilliant.

First of all we have that scene with the couple in bed.

In summary, bloke wears mask to look like this woman's husband (it's a special mask. Don't ask), has his way with her, and we get the real husband saying, "You better not have cheated with this man, otherwise..." and Iz saying, "Liar! Not only did you cheat with this man, but you also said he was better than your husband!!"

Next, we have the Fee Olé.

As I discovered (after translating), Iz is not actually oggling the Fee Olé. He says, and I quote: "I cannot say it! I am simply too excited!!" To this, Wa'at Alaf/Tunichgud misinterprets his meaning of the word 'excited' (I bet you did, too), and ahem ahem, Iz ends up calling him a sex maniac.

Of course, we also have the Fee Olé wandering around topless, which I'm not posting. You freak.

#2 Un Monstre Sympathique

Now, this reason is pretty weird, so bear with me.

Because I can't read French, here is a very basic translation.

(In the previous panel, why did it not include it?? Oh well): "I have brought you your soup, o Caliph!" "But we will only eat it when you rub our backs, our stomachs, our buttocks, all over!!"

(Now, to the picture) "What? Am I hearing things?? Am I dreaming??" etc "No! Let go of me!! I can't see a thing with all this steam [asterisk - unfortunately]. You have made a mistake, oh comman..." "It is not the Caliph... hehehe!!" "Bah? Who is it, then?" "We are the cleaning ladies! Every time the Caliph leaves, we all take a bath in his bathtub, set of diamonds, [carrelee] of pink [travertin] and [robinettée] in white platinum!" "The caliph has left, then?! Ah! Let go of me! NO! Not my underwear!! How many of you are there??" "Five! All vigorous!" "And all in love!!" [kissy noises] "ARRRR, these girls are crazy!! Grrrrr!" And at this point he runs out starkers, past a rather startled Wa'at Alaf.

#3 La Faute De L'Ancêtre

This one disturbed me. Very much. This is the latest Iz comic, at current (in November, there will be a new one!!). I'm not even gonna show you the picture directly, there may be some blogger-law that states you cannot host dirty pictures on your blogs. Well, you can see it if you want. All I says is: That thought bubble was not at all necessary.

Lookee - here.

I wasn't expecting this pic. I was just looking through... minding my own business, then I was like, "WTF" and I scrolled back up again to this panel. I was so shocked my mouth touched the floor, and my eyes popped out and fell into my mouth, and I accidentally ate my eyeballs. Well... not quite. But you get the idea.

SO I conclude: As we progress, Iznogoud gets filled with worse and worse innuendoes (I wonder what the next one's gonna be like?). But I think that makes it even funnier. There's probably more ones out there; I haven't read them all. So - Iznogoud is not necessarily for kids. Bow your head in shame if you thought otherwise.

[EDIT] [From La Faute De L'Ancêtre] If 'bastard' wasn't good enough for you in 'Isnoguds Komplize', have a look at this. How many kid's comics contain the word 'shit', let alone various types of drugs?Then again, it might not mean the same in french; it may be like the german word for coffee supplement: Muckefuck.

No, I'm not kidding about that. It seriously is.

Ahem so this induced distraction did not actually make my work performance worse, oddly enough.

After the exam, my parents took me to BURLEY - the most wonderful, magical place in the world. It is amazing. I mean it. I bought a replica of this:

Check the internet and you'll see it's somewhere over £15. I got it for a tenner. HAHAHAHA. The quality's not particularly good in this pic but see it in real life and you'll be like OMFG cool.

In other news: I'm starting a new comic series. I'm not telling you the name, because it's so great that someone will steal it. The name of the comic was suggested by Hannah - Thank you Hannah!! I'm not even gonna tell you lot what it's about, coz the idea'd probably be stolen too. And then I'll get it published and then I'll TAKE OVER THE WORLD of comics.

By the way, I've done a bit more translating of Isnoguds Komplize. OMFG there's a scene, right, where there's this wizard, right, and, right, he has these masks, right, and when he wears the mask and takes it off again, his face remains as the face of the mask... if that makes sense. Anyway, he has this mask of this random guy... then he SLEEPS WITH HIS WIFE... husband finds out, and he says, "You'd better not have cheated with him, otherwise..." and he's about to hit her. Iznogoud comes in, and aggrivates the situation: "LIAR! Not only did you cheat with this man, but you also said he was better than your husband!!" And who said Iznogoud was for kids?? Not I. LOL It's so my favourite comic book, now.

So... I got my new comic today.

IT'S THE MOST FANTASTICALLY REDICULOUSLY FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER READ!!!!

And I mean that.


There's only one thing 'wrong' with it though. They replaced Hitler (aaaaaw...) with some other dude whom I have yet to figure out who he is...


Let's play spot the difference, shall we?



Hmm? Any guesses? Don't say one's in french and the other's in german... and don't you dare say one's shittier quality that t'other. I tried my best.

So yeah, the Fée Olé is nekkid, there's lots of blood and gore and stuff. Surprising amounts of violence, if I must say. One panel got completely censored by what I believe to be the artist's wife or daughter or sister (!!), where Iz gets his head chopped off.

But I gagged at this - Tunichgud (or Wa'at Alahf) says "Bastard". I'm not kidding. They censor Iz getting his head lopped off but they find it perfectly acceptable for Tuni to say 'bastard'... and, for that matter, they also find it acceptable for a fairy to go wandering around naked.

I'm not complaining, though. I thought it was very funny. *nods* bastard... heh.

In conclusion I think it's very funny and very random and I absolutely love it. I really do. I DO I DO I DO!

I know this is a short(ish) post but I can't be bothered to say anymore.

...Oh, alright! Here's Tuni saying 'Bastard'. XD (The rest of what he says aren't really swearwords... but bastard was funny enough.)

[EDIT] I think I've found out who the guy who replaces Hitler is: Rodrigo Borgia, or, more likely (as far as looks are concerned) Cesare Borgia. That solves that little mystery; it's one of the Borgias.