Dear Die-ary...

I actually mean that.

My dear seal-clubbers (i.e. blog-readers), I managed to get myself into so much trouble that I became the subject of many rumours in the space of an hour.

Why?

I didn't stand up.

Yes, that's right.

I didn't stand up in the Christmas ASSembly when they were all singing their little hearts out.

During the first sing-along song (there were two) it was Wed and I (pictured above in awesome picture of awesomeness) who remained seated. One teacher came over and asked us to stand. We refused.

Second song - I remained seated, Wed stood up (no I'm not damning this decision. I understand entirely, and, besides, I have a habit of doing reckless and foolhardy things). Mr H (won't print real name. Mainly because I can't spell it) asks me to stand up. I refuse. I am (not literally) dragged out of the assembly, to the head teacher's office.

He threatened to suspend me.

I was like WTFOMGNOWAI but kept calm. I argued my case.

Basically, why should I stand up for someone else's beliefs? This skool is biased towards Christians, despite it claiming to be for all beliefs. And besides - I didn't ask to be there. No one asked me to go, it was mandatory to be dragged to a religious gathering contrary to my own lifestyle. The clubs - Christian Union, Amnesty International etc are optional. We can choose to attend. And also - even if it is Christmas, the date and the giving of presents was a Roman thing!!

etc.

He listened with an absolutely shocked look on his face. He admitted no one had ever done what I had done, and so found it difficult to find a suitable punishment.

He said that we all must respect other people's beliefs. We may not wish to take part in them (in this case, singing), but at least show some respect to these people. He, himself, is an atheist, yet stands up to convey respect. God, I'm so immature. I have just ruined his entire day.

He goes away, I'm made to stand outside.

People walk by eventually. Evil is one of them. She talks to me saying how amusing the display was.

Mr H comes stalking down the hallway, each footstep sounding: "DOOM. DOOM. DOOM." (where can I get some of those shoes??) Evil hurredly walks away.

I'm dragged (not literally) back into the room.

The discussion continued, mainly based on the points mentioned earlier.

Headteacher walks in (not expecting to see us). Situation explained to her. She tries to help Mr H in damning my actions but I think she achieved the opposite effect. (She said she was Jewish, and stands up and sings in the carols. But when there is any mention of Jesus she doesn't sing that line). She goes away.

Mr H finally admits that I have stood up for what I believe in, and do not conform to what others believe in, just because they do. That he likes. But I'm still immature (oh and the girls screaming because they see their favourite teacher in the second assembly aren't??). And I argued some good points. Thus I am pardoned from the crime and excused from any other religious assemblies. Merry Chris... oh wait, I don't believe in Christmas.

I say: Say 'Happy Holidays'.

He says: OK, Happy Holidays.

And that was that.

Others, of course, were talking about me pretty much from the moment I left the assembly hall. And I let them! - not many knew enough information to slander. Wed explains the situation. I get respect for what I did and a general 'Good for you!' feeling towards me. All happy, all smiles, I am a legend.

I bet Mr H is praying to his metaphorical God that there isn't gonna be another Bob in our skool before he retires.

Yes, so, this was the last day of skool for the Christmas holidays. Gemima put a printout of 'Merry Christmas' on my locker, over my über-cool Lon Chaney picture (which is surrounded by the words: We get you while you're sleeping. You're looking tired.)

So I made another Christmassy-Lon Chaney picture.

Here are the two Christmas pics together: